Well, what do ya know?! I had a 'talk' with God the other day. I basically said that I know in my heart he wants us to take a break but it's going to be really hard on me, etc. I told him that we were going to follow His plan though and we'll start TTC again in August. I'm even going to hold off on my Femara this month. Well.....he has blessed us greatly since then!!
A.) My husband works as a biomedical technician (fixing machines in OR rooms) and makes commission on sales. Well, we've been praying a really huge contract goes through because the extra $$ would be great! We could get Jeff's truck in June instead of August. This also means we can start paying off my car in June instead of starting in August. Well Jeff got a call on Tuesday night and they are signing the contract!! Woot Woot!!
B.) I really wanted to refinance but called a couple months ago and we couldn't do it-closing costs were going to be around $2,500 out of pocket. Got a call from our mortgage guy last night and they offering to refinance us to 5% interest (we had 6.3%) and our closing costs will only be $1,500!!! YAH!!!!!! Plus, we'll get $1,500 back because that was sitting in escrow. So basically we're refinancing for free. Oh-and biggest part is our mortgage payment is going down $110 a month!
C.) We're refinishing our basement and we have the money saved to finish it all but we'll have to spend a couple months saving for carpeting, once its done. Well, turns out we won't have to make a mortgage payment in June because we're refinancing so that money will go into savings for the carpet!!
So, thank you Lord for all the blessings!! Your plan is better :-) I'll admit that. I'm very thankful for all of this because it means when we'll be so much more stable in a year from now and have alot of our big purchases out of the way! Ok...enough bragging..sorry...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I don't know if any of you get the Daily Double Portion from Sarah's Laughter but today's really touched my heart. Here it is.......
The young man was in love with his beau...
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.Psalm 139:16
After a long day, my husband and I decided to relax and watch a movie. We pulled up the Pay Per View menu offered by our cable company and began to read the synopses of romantic comedies. One by one, we read the brief introduction to selected movies and passed on each one. One finally caught my eye, but not for the reasons you might expect! The final line of the synopsis was what did it! It read like this:
“The young man was in love with his beau...”
I have to admit, I was a little confused! I thought I had seen this movie before! I don’t remember a young man being in love with another man! It was a sweet comedy about a heterosexual couple falling in love! What was this all about?
Then it hit me! I couldn’t see the end of the synopsis! There wasn’t enough room on the screen to write out the whole story! When we clicked on the “continue” button, the whole story changed!
“The young man was in love with his beautiful bride...”
I started laughing so hard that my husband must have thought I’d lost my mind! When I saw the rest of the description of the movie, my understanding of the movie changed! Only a few more letters took their place on the screen and everything made sense.
You’ll never guess what it reminded me of!
Do you realize that the story of your life has not been totally revealed to you yet? All you see right now is that you don’t have a baby. Remember, you cannot see the entire description yet! There’s simply not enough room in your heart and mind to contain all that the Father has planned for you.
What if the synopsis of your life was displayed for you like the description of my movie?
She will not have a baby...
Perhaps the continued synopsis reads more like this:
She will not have a baby...as easily as she thought she would, but eventually the baby will come.
She will not have a baby...until God’s perfect timing plays out.
Or maybe your story is more like this:
She kept waiting and waiting and waiting...as God revealed His plan to her step by step.
She felt like her heart would burst into a million pieces...from the explosion of joy God gave at the birth of her first child.
She never had a true, intimate relationship with God...like the one brought about through her struggle with infertility.
Who knows? God knows. You cannot know the entirety of God’s beautiful plan for your life. He’s known every day of your life since before time began. If you are struggling with what God wants for this season of your life, remember, you cannot see the full synopsis. Trust Him to write out your life as He sees fit. He knows what’s coming next, and He knows just how much to reveal to you right now.
Only a few revelations can altar your understanding. One day, as God reveals His plan to you in His perfect timing, the story of your life will make sense. Perhaps your life will be a beautiful story for other hurting women to watch and learn from!
Don’t forget to watch the credits! “The Story of Your Life”--written by God!
(c) 2009 Sarah’s Laughter-Christian Support for Infertility & Child Loss
The young man was in love with his beau...
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.Psalm 139:16
After a long day, my husband and I decided to relax and watch a movie. We pulled up the Pay Per View menu offered by our cable company and began to read the synopses of romantic comedies. One by one, we read the brief introduction to selected movies and passed on each one. One finally caught my eye, but not for the reasons you might expect! The final line of the synopsis was what did it! It read like this:
“The young man was in love with his beau...”
I have to admit, I was a little confused! I thought I had seen this movie before! I don’t remember a young man being in love with another man! It was a sweet comedy about a heterosexual couple falling in love! What was this all about?
Then it hit me! I couldn’t see the end of the synopsis! There wasn’t enough room on the screen to write out the whole story! When we clicked on the “continue” button, the whole story changed!
“The young man was in love with his beautiful bride...”
I started laughing so hard that my husband must have thought I’d lost my mind! When I saw the rest of the description of the movie, my understanding of the movie changed! Only a few more letters took their place on the screen and everything made sense.
You’ll never guess what it reminded me of!
Do you realize that the story of your life has not been totally revealed to you yet? All you see right now is that you don’t have a baby. Remember, you cannot see the entire description yet! There’s simply not enough room in your heart and mind to contain all that the Father has planned for you.
What if the synopsis of your life was displayed for you like the description of my movie?
She will not have a baby...
Perhaps the continued synopsis reads more like this:
She will not have a baby...as easily as she thought she would, but eventually the baby will come.
She will not have a baby...until God’s perfect timing plays out.
Or maybe your story is more like this:
She kept waiting and waiting and waiting...as God revealed His plan to her step by step.
She felt like her heart would burst into a million pieces...from the explosion of joy God gave at the birth of her first child.
She never had a true, intimate relationship with God...like the one brought about through her struggle with infertility.
Who knows? God knows. You cannot know the entirety of God’s beautiful plan for your life. He’s known every day of your life since before time began. If you are struggling with what God wants for this season of your life, remember, you cannot see the full synopsis. Trust Him to write out your life as He sees fit. He knows what’s coming next, and He knows just how much to reveal to you right now.
Only a few revelations can altar your understanding. One day, as God reveals His plan to you in His perfect timing, the story of your life will make sense. Perhaps your life will be a beautiful story for other hurting women to watch and learn from!
Don’t forget to watch the credits! “The Story of Your Life”--written by God!
(c) 2009 Sarah’s Laughter-Christian Support for Infertility & Child Loss
Thursday, April 23, 2009
His plan, is always better than mine......
I need to get all my thoughts down on ‘paper’ so bear with me as I ramble…
I started meeting with a grief counselor from my church, basically because I think I needed someone to hash out my feelings, goals, etc. The meeting went pretty well-she began by reminding me that I’m young, should enjoy the time in my life without children, take my focus off my infertility, etc. Well-I could have talked to a friend who doesn’t understand what I’m going through to hear that! But once we got through those shenanigans it got better. We talked about why I wanted to be a mom and how God fit into my plan. We talked about how much I wanted ‘my plan’ to work and how its been hard giving up and allowing God to take over. Which, brought up a point I’ve been dreading to talk about. I’m scared to give up my plan for his, because I know his plan includes a TTC break. I know, in my heart, he’s asking me to trust him and just take the summer off-start again in August. Go on a trip with DH in August to ‘kick off’ the TTC journey again, but my plans don’t include a break! I want to get pregnant now! Well-it’s so hard for me to let him take over and remind myself that his plan is always better than mine. Plus, I want to become as financially stable as possible so I could possibly work part-time/stay at home! Right now my husband and I are working on paying off all our debt (by the ‘snowball’ method. We’ve done really great-paid off over $12,000 of debt in the last year!!!) YAH! If we wait until August, I’ll be able to buy Jeff a new truck and pay my car off by the time we have a baby, which-of course would be awesome. Ugh, decisions, decisions.
Second problem-Jeff doesn’t want to take a break, at all! He wants to be a dad and wants me to get pregnant now. His faith is not as strong as mine and he doesn’t really understand how God is “telling me” August is the right time. I guess I just need to keep praying and see where all this takes us.
I know for sure I’ll take my Femara in May though. I have a prescription already bought/filled and am already doing the estrogen so we really don’t need to make a decision until after this cycle. (I have a feeling the first cycle won’t work anyway!)
I hope you were able to follow my ramblings, if not-sorry! J On another note, my counselor said the book I’m reading, “Disappointment with God” will really help me. I’m truly enjoying it, a lot! Plus, I started getting the Double Daily Portion through sarahs-laughter.com which is a Christian Loss/Infertility support group. I really love them!
Ok..back to lunch. I pray one of you ladies gets your BFP today!
I started meeting with a grief counselor from my church, basically because I think I needed someone to hash out my feelings, goals, etc. The meeting went pretty well-she began by reminding me that I’m young, should enjoy the time in my life without children, take my focus off my infertility, etc. Well-I could have talked to a friend who doesn’t understand what I’m going through to hear that! But once we got through those shenanigans it got better. We talked about why I wanted to be a mom and how God fit into my plan. We talked about how much I wanted ‘my plan’ to work and how its been hard giving up and allowing God to take over. Which, brought up a point I’ve been dreading to talk about. I’m scared to give up my plan for his, because I know his plan includes a TTC break. I know, in my heart, he’s asking me to trust him and just take the summer off-start again in August. Go on a trip with DH in August to ‘kick off’ the TTC journey again, but my plans don’t include a break! I want to get pregnant now! Well-it’s so hard for me to let him take over and remind myself that his plan is always better than mine. Plus, I want to become as financially stable as possible so I could possibly work part-time/stay at home! Right now my husband and I are working on paying off all our debt (by the ‘snowball’ method. We’ve done really great-paid off over $12,000 of debt in the last year!!!) YAH! If we wait until August, I’ll be able to buy Jeff a new truck and pay my car off by the time we have a baby, which-of course would be awesome. Ugh, decisions, decisions.
Second problem-Jeff doesn’t want to take a break, at all! He wants to be a dad and wants me to get pregnant now. His faith is not as strong as mine and he doesn’t really understand how God is “telling me” August is the right time. I guess I just need to keep praying and see where all this takes us.
I know for sure I’ll take my Femara in May though. I have a prescription already bought/filled and am already doing the estrogen so we really don’t need to make a decision until after this cycle. (I have a feeling the first cycle won’t work anyway!)
I hope you were able to follow my ramblings, if not-sorry! J On another note, my counselor said the book I’m reading, “Disappointment with God” will really help me. I’m truly enjoying it, a lot! Plus, I started getting the Double Daily Portion through sarahs-laughter.com which is a Christian Loss/Infertility support group. I really love them!
Ok..back to lunch. I pray one of you ladies gets your BFP today!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Let's add another med, shall we?
Well I talked to Dr. C today-AF is no were to be seen. I guess I need to take estrodial (estrogen) for a MONTH and then start provera for 10 days. Then, AF should come nice and strong and I'll finally be able to take my Femara. I know one month isn't that long to wait but it seems like FOREVER! The good thing is then I won't be in my 2ww during my sister's bacherlorette party so I can actually host that. DH is gone until super late tonight because he is traveling for work so it looks like its me, my kitties and CSI today.....boo....
Sunday, April 5, 2009
No Femara Today
Well, I guess I'm not starting my femara today. Little aunt flow has been sooo incredibly light so I called the on-call nurse today. She said just to wait until I have a 'heavy flow' for three days then take the Femara. I'm fine with that...however I'm worried if I wait too long they'll have me redo my cycle over or something. Ugh..just had to vent. I've had spotting for 3 days so no matter how heavy it is I plan on going ahead and starting the Femara on Thursday, since that will be a week since I took my last provera. However, I feel great after getting my wisdom teeth removed! I've hardly taken any pain meds since I'm still worried they may mess with my Femara. Off to POAS to make sure I'm not preggo and then continue to wait for this spotting to get heavier...who would have ever thought I'd wish for that? lol
Friday, April 3, 2009
CD 1
Today I started spotting, so I'm using it as CD 1 since it's bright red-as the nurse told me to do. Which means Sunday through Thursday I'll be taking my Femara. And, of course I have to been good about tempting. Oh, how I love to wake every morning to shove a thermometer in my mouth! But I refuse to forget...I WILL be good this month!
I haven't even had a D.Coke (or caffiene for that matter!) since Monday!!! Right now I'm having a hard time on my PCOS diet since I can only eat mushy things for the next couple days since I got my wisdom teeth out but I'll be back on hard core on Monday! I'm excited and nervous for this cycle. I kind of plan on this cycle working, which I keep telling myself to stop doing! We got pregnant on our first cycle of Femara 5.0mg, which was also the first time I O'ed in years. Therefore, I figure if I'm taking 7.5mg what's stopping me from getting pregnant. However, I'm trying hard not to get my hopes up. I also ordered two books from Amazon, they were recommended to me by girls from the The Bump. They are...Dissappointment with God and Facing the Giants. Basically they are supposed to help me understand, talk, and have patience as I wait for our little miracle in His time, not mine. I think they will be great. I'm not angry with God but sometimes question his tatics when I see teenagers or women who can barely afford food pregnant...however, He knows what he is doing and I will have patience. I'll give a review once I read them. Well, off to cuddle with the hubs and watch some TV in bed!
I haven't even had a D.Coke (or caffiene for that matter!) since Monday!!! Right now I'm having a hard time on my PCOS diet since I can only eat mushy things for the next couple days since I got my wisdom teeth out but I'll be back on hard core on Monday! I'm excited and nervous for this cycle. I kind of plan on this cycle working, which I keep telling myself to stop doing! We got pregnant on our first cycle of Femara 5.0mg, which was also the first time I O'ed in years. Therefore, I figure if I'm taking 7.5mg what's stopping me from getting pregnant. However, I'm trying hard not to get my hopes up. I also ordered two books from Amazon, they were recommended to me by girls from the The Bump. They are...Dissappointment with God and Facing the Giants. Basically they are supposed to help me understand, talk, and have patience as I wait for our little miracle in His time, not mine. I think they will be great. I'm not angry with God but sometimes question his tatics when I see teenagers or women who can barely afford food pregnant...however, He knows what he is doing and I will have patience. I'll give a review once I read them. Well, off to cuddle with the hubs and watch some TV in bed!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wisdom Teeth
Tomorrow I finally get my wisdom teeth out. I've been putting this day off for way to long and now my jaw won't aline correctly because my teeth have come in too much! The nurses at Dr. C's office have promised me the procedure and pain killers won't affect this cycle. I'm really hoping this is true, I just took my last provera last night so hopefully will start my period soon. I'm really ready to start trying again...I just want to feel like I'm doing something to push this whole process along! Hopefully I'm not in too much pain tomorrow-Jeff is taking the day off from work so we plan on laying around and watching movies all day!! I'm actually pretty excited, plus I really need a day away from the office!!
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