Excuse my b*tchiness..

This post is going to be down right bitchy, but live with it and listen up! (Ok...I'm trying to be a hardass and it's so impossible! haha. I'm a little crabby and this is annoying me soo...please do read this post with an open mind and remember that just because something didn't work for U doesn't mean it won't work for US or that we can't try it out).

Cloth Diapers.....

Now, I plan on staying home. I plan on us being pretty poor, I think that comes with being young, married and parents. But I would give anything to be a monmy (including a huge chunk of change-(IVF)) so I'm trying to be frugile. I want to try cloth diapers for a million reasons. I know so many friends that use cloth and love them. They are better for the environment, will save us HUNDREDS, and keep babies bum from getting diaper rash. Oh and guess what?! Cloth diaper babies are proven to potty train sooner. With that being said please realize that cloth diapers aren't what they used to be. Yes..there are still prefolds (see pic below) that our parents/grandparents used to use but cloth diapers have really grown and become amazing. There's many different kinds and I'm going to steal a post from a friend of mine..Tiff (ticebaby.blogspot.com)...to help you all understand a little more about cloth diapers.

Snappi now that is easy to use and much less dangerous! You need to put a diaper cover on over a prefold if you don't want leaks. Prefolds and covers are definitely the least expensive way to go. We initially started cloth diapering with a diaper service. The service uses only prefolds. They were easier to use than I thought they would be, although Ian never really loved them. I plan on using prefolds for our next kiddo during the newborn stage.

Fitteds: Fitted diapers are the shape of a 'sposie, and generally go on easily with velcro or snaps. You should use a cover over fitteds. (Although, Oli often goes around the house in fitteds with no cover for an hour or so, because it lets his bum breathe a bit.) The fitteds we have: Wallypop: Love, love, LOVE these! Wallypop diapers in general are great. We have several (very cute) fitteds, some with snaps and some with touchtape. I prefer the touchtape. I chose an edge-sewn soaker, so the diapers are very absorbent but still dry quickly.

Thirsties: We have a few Thirsties Fab Fitteds, and I really like them. They are not the most absorbent, but they are great for daytime, super easy to use and pretty trim. I'm not a fan of the velcro, however.

Happy Heiny's:We have one Happy Heiny's 'Happy Hempy' fitted, with a pocket. I bought it at Little Padded Seats in Valley Junction and the owner told me it's a great nighttime diaper. And wow, is it! Hemp is super absorbent. And the Happy Hempy also has a pocket, so I stuff it with extra hemp and microfiber, put a cover on, and Oli is good to go all night!

Baby Beehinds: We have one BBH bamboo fitted, and I really like it. It's not very trim, but it's absorbent. We used it overnight a couple nights ago and it worked like a charm.

Pocket diapers are what they sound like: They have a pocket that you can stuff with whatever kind of absorbent material you want. Most pockets do not need a cover.

Fuzz Bunzz: Most of our pockets are Fuzzi Bunz. I like the snaps, although sometimes it's hard to snap now that Oli is constantly trying to dive off the changing table. There are two rows of snaps, so I can get the diaper to fit perfectly, which is difficult with Oliver's thin body and chunky thighs. When bought new, they come with microfiber inserts. We have been using these every day since December and they are in perfect condition still.

Happy Heiny's: We have one Happy Heiny's pocket, and I don't even really remember where I got it. I wasn't a fan immediately for some reason, but now I really like it. The velcro is the wide kind and isn't fraying. All-In-Ones (AIO): AIOs are diapers that go on just like disposables – no stuffing, no cover. They are fool-proof and great for babysitters. They tend to take longer to dry, however.

Bumware: I hated this diaper at first. No idea why. Now it's my favorite AIO that we have. It's super trim, and great for out-and-about. Not super absorbent, but great for regular daytime use.
BumGenius Organic: If BumGenius used different velcro, I would love this diaper. The inside is made with organic cotton, and the sling-style lining makes it dry quicker. I just don't like the closures on BumGenius diapers in general.

With that said...I appreciate your opinions and concerns but if I want to try cloth diapering, damnit-shut your mouth and let me try it!! (:-) ) I wouldn't make fun of someone for homeschooling. Yes, I think it's crazy and doesn't help the child to develop socially but I would never bash someone for trying it. So, please be respectful of our decision and let us try new things. If we hate it you can all say (to yourselves) I told you so and if not...then I will be nice and not say a word :-)

11 Weeks!!!!!!

How far along? 11 weeks
How big is baby? the size of a LIME!! holy cow!
Total weight gain: I finally gained a few pounds!! So now I'm -2lbs
Stretch Marks? Heck No!! Hopefully my Palmer's Body butter will keep those suckers away :-)
Sleep: I've started to wake up once a night to go to the bathroom. I usually sleep on my right side but have been trying to sleep on my back...baby is hanging out on the right side and I feel like I'm squashing him!! (although I know I'm not)
Best moment this week: Hearing the heartbeat on the doppler. Last night I found it right away...around 150-160bpm. He even did a little flip to the other side and then I found him about 2 inches over :-) It was the BEST!
Movement: None yet!
Gender: Who knows...Jeff has me thinking boy ;-)
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? Definatly in...
Cravings: Hm....I used to make fun of people when they had cravings before the second trimester but this week I've been craving lots of things. Since I've become pregnant I'm not a big junk/sweets eater. I prefer large meals instead-like every night I want to go to a "all you can eat buffet" and just eat for hours!! hehe. I'm always super hungry :-P But mostly, this week I crave spicy food!
What I miss: I've really been wanting a glass of red wine :-(
What I am looking forward to: Out NT scan on the 9th!!!
Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy every second and realize that everyone's pregnancy is different. Just because your sister/mom/friend didn't have a belly until 5 months doesn't mean your fat if you get one before than (remember-it just depends on baby and ur body type-there's nothing you can do to pretend one from forming!). If you don't have symptoms, it doesn't mean you don't have a baby growing in there. But most of all...enjoy every single second of pregnancy and don't wish it all away :-)
Milestones: Hearing the heartbeat on the doppler!

Heartbeats.

So you all know how crazy I am with this pregnancy...I just love every second but so afraid something will happen. Anyway- I caledl my OB nurse to let her know I got my h1n1 shot and also mentioned that we couldn't hear the heartbeat on the doppler and if that's normal. Of course, she told me it's completely normal-especially with a tilted uterus but if I wanted to I could come in after work for a doppler check, and if they couldn't find the heartbeat we could do an ultrasound :-) They are just the BEST! So after work I headed over there and one of the nurses found lil one's heartbeat. Baby kept squirming around because s/he didn't like the pressure from the doppler probe but finally she got him to hold still and the heartbeat was in the 170's again! Yah!! It was absolutely amazing. (She also said we'll probably have a stubborn baby on our hands-of course!) The nurse had to have my lay down with pillows under my butt-it stretched out my uterus and helped to bring it up more so we could hear the heartbeat. When I got home that night we tried it with our doppler...sure enough after awhile we could hear the hearbeat! Around 150 bpm (baby was probably sleeping-mine was at 80 bpm). We've heard it since and even recorded the sound on our phones. However, we can't figure out who to get it on the computer though....that's our next task :-)

So here's my belly pic from 10w3d. I can't believe I'm now almost 11 weeks!! YAH! I'm sure time will fly now with the holidays and everything. I even started researching registry stuff and decided what we wanted...baby bargains is an awesome book for this, it's helped alot!

So here's the belly pic. I totally hate how huge I look, stupid shirt, back but Jeff refused to take a million pics. hehe. Anyway...here goes! I just have a tiny bump above my pelvic bone which is getting a little hard, nothing exciting though. Can't wait to get an actual belly!

Gross...what a bad pic of me!!

God's got his hand on you...

I'm driving to work this morning and one of my favorite song's come on the radio...

"Be strong in the Lord and

Never give up hope

You’re going to do great things

I already know

God’s got His hand on you so

Don’t live life in fear

Forgive and forget

But don’t forget why you’re here

Take your time and pray

Thank God for each day

His love will find a way

These are the words I would say"

It puts faith in my heart...God got his hand on my baby, OUR baby. It's hard, after a loss and infertility, to not fear the worst. It seems too good to be true...Jeff and I, parents. I can't express the joy and excitement we feel on 'paper' but I can tell you that each day I pray our baby makes it. It just seems so surreal.

So anyway...I'm 10w2d pregnant and last night I got my H1N1 shot. I called the doctor's office I used to work at and they had me come in and get one. They also tried the doppler on me...with no luck :-( Boo! I want to hear the baby so bad, just for reassurance. My symptoms are pretty much gone-no achy boobs, no fatigue (well-kinda), I don't have to pee all the time, etc. Just migraines-and I don't know if that counts! So...we wait...until November 9th when we have our next ultrasound. However...only 12 more days of a bruised a$$!! Seriously, I have two huge, red, swollen, knots on my butt from the progesterone injections. Last night burned soo bad I about cried. Sometimes they hurt, sometimes they don't. 12 more days...yah!

Ok..back to work. Maybe I'll update with bump pictures next week. Not that there is anything to see-but still :-)

9 weeks 5 days

I'm almost 10 weeks!! I can't believe it...I'm so ready for 11/9/09 to get here though so we can see our little peanut and hear the heartbeat! Still no luck with the doppler :-( Stupid tilted uterus...but that doesn't mean I won't continue to try! Nothing much has changed. I actually feel pretty good. Not too much naseous, still lots of headaches, and a really sore butt :-( The last two nights of shots haven't gone well. They don't hurt but the after effect is a really hard, painful knot and bruising. I can't wait- only 16 more days of shots!! Yah!! I've also lost another 2.5 lbs...so that totals about 4 lost so far. I heard it's normal so I guess I won't stress over it and I'm sure I'll be thankful later when I start gaining it all back! I did notice last week that I'm started to get a little 'swollen' right above my pelvic bone. Jeff noticed on Saturday too. I don't think it's baby-probably just all the organs he/she is pushing up to make room for her! haha. You can't tell in any of my belly pics (which I'll post later when there is actually change!) because the bump is sooo low but I'm sure it will start spreading upwards very soon!

Well..that's all for now. Hopefully this week I'll be able to update about us hearing the heartbeat on the doppler :-) I think that will calm me down quite a bit!

On sale this week at Target...

This week Target had an espresso colored ReStyle(?) 3 shelf bookcase, for $16. The price caught my attention but I was skeptical about the quality. Especially since all the bookcases I have been seeing around $60+. But I had to stop at Target to pick up a prescription, and get my $10 gift card with a transferred prescription! I figured once I used the gift card it will only be about $6 so if it sucks, not a big loss. Anyway...I got it home today and put it together, took all of 20 minutes. And the verdict? I love it! It's actually pretty sturdy and has a bracket to attach it to the wall. I'm glad it came with that because I kept picturing our lil one pulling himself up with the bookshelf and it toppling over on him. Basically-worth every penny and I love! Here's pics of the nursery. Slowly we're working on it. Next I'd like to get a mattress and a closet organizer. I found an organizer on craiglist for $50 and supposed to go look at it later next week!

Here's the nursery pics so far...
Baby already has quite the collection of books! Most of them are hand-me-downs from my little sister :-)

Gianna's Room

I'll give you a peak at my design board for Gianna's room...as long as you don't steal my ideas ;-)

I'd love to stripe the walls in a nice lavender and do light green/lavender and white bedding. We already have dark nursery furniture and a white rocker. I'm in love with the butterfly chandlier- priced at a woppin $45k but I have plans to make one for under $30 :-) After the adorable pink stroller and this cute nursery idea I think I need a little girl ;-)

Krue's room will be done in golf....but a cute golf. I'll do his 'design board' later. But here's a sneak peak! I plan on doing fabric similiar to this-golf themed. But in a super cute way.I'm also a little disappointed in the amount of people that aren't voting for the name Gianna!! Maybe I should explain the name.....my name is Jessica but my family calls me "Gia" do to my little sister making up the name when she was about 1. My middle name is Anne so put that together makes Gianna. Rose is my little sisters name.....so that's why we'll probably name our little girl Gianna Rose. Lillian Grace is still in the running...maybe we'll have to see what she looks like first ;-)

Bumbleride....

So Jeff and I have been drooling over the Bumbleride strollers....we're read and heard amazing things about the strollers and they have a lifetime warranty. Even if we bought it used and something went wrong, say the wheel broke, they'd send us a new one for free. Even if they come out with a new & improved item (like in 2009 they came out with a new basket) they'll send you a new one, even if you have the 2008 model!! Well, at $360 for just the stroller, no car seat included I was thinking buying a Graco/Chicco travel system would be a better buy. The bumbleride's have so many great features, like the ability to flip the handles so baby can face you while you walk! Jeff was sold on the idea but I was still worried it was a waste of money.....until....I found one on craiglist for $230!!!! YAH!!!!!!!!! I was so incredibly excited! I called Jeff and he oked it right away and then I emailed the lady. The stroller is a 2008 and comes with two different fabric sets, a brown set and a pink set. I've been drooling over the Ruby (see below) color for awhile for alittle girl and Jeff wants the Spice (See below) for a little boy. I'm not in love with the spice colors but if daddy wants Spice for his little boy that's what he'll get! My plan is to sell the pink and brown fabric sets and buy either a Ruby or Spice depending on the sex of this baby. Both are gender neutral enough that they will work later with other babies, no matter what gender they are. Plus, the awesome thing is if they come out with even better colors later you can always buy a new fabric set for about $80 online, and used ones go on ebay for about $60! YAH!! I'm so excited. Below are the pics....be prepared to be amazed...

I'm sure you all notice there is no place to put my diet coke or iced tea..but no worries. I already have a pattern for cup holders/mini pocket to add to the stroller. You can buy a snap on cup holder but I think the one I make will be cuter :-) We're just going to get a car seat that fits with the stroller like the Graco snugride. You can buy a bumbleride car seat cover that fits & matches, but then the car seat isn't covered under safety codes because it's never been tested with that fabric on it. So I think we'll just find a car seat that is neutral colored or matches the fabric. Here's pics of me and the stroller......

Kingston is inside all bundled up for winter!! Baby can be completely covered to block out the color/windy/rainy weather. How awesome huh?

And Jeff getting ready to push around his baby girl....

Some more pics...

Ok.....done with the longest post ever!

PS-I may just keep the pink fabric for a little girl...it's really growing on me!

9 weeks...

Ok, I'm only 8 weeks 5 days but 9 weeks is close enough! Today we met with Dr.M, my OB and had another ultrasound. The appointment went well...just basic questions and answers and check ups. Everything looked good. We got a box of reading info and a pacifier-haha. We also got info on different classes we could sign up for and testing that they do. I think we'll start some classes after the holidays (around 25 weeks or so). I want to take a breastfeeding class and a childbirth/baby basics class also. We are going to do the First-Tri Screening for down syndrome and Trisonomy 18. It's basically just an ultrasound that measures a space in the neck to check for downs and measures all the parts of the body. Then at 16ish weeks we'll have a blood test to check for spinal bifida (sp?). Honestly, we will love our baby no matter what happens but if something is wrong I'd like to have the next 4-5 months to prepare and educate myself as much as possible.

We also had an ultrasound which went great...except the first 10 minutes the nurse spent measuring my ovaries, bloodflow, uterus, cervix, etc.... I was like...where's the baby?! Is there a heartbeat?! I mean come on! You can't make me wait through all this measuring..just let me see the heartbeat and you can come back to that :-) haha. But finally we saw our little bean pole. S/he looked so adorable. She didn't let us just stare at our baby for very long, just took some measurements and checked the heartbeat (173bpm). Everything looked great and we were done. I was hoping she would stop moving the ultrasound wand around for a minute so I could see baby p move but no luck :-( She was so much faster than Tiffany! But I can't complain..I got to see baby p who looks sooo much more like a baby! It's amazing what a few days can do!!

We won't find out baby p's sex until around Christmas time. My mom and Jeff swear it's a girl. I kinda feel like it's a boy, but I don't know really.

Here's a profile. The light line by the legs is the umbilical cord and the light circle around baby is the sac. Super cute, huh?!

Here's baby looking at us. The arms are just growing and actually starting to meet at his chest. The little legs are forming also, but harder to see in this picture. And you can see the cord between the legs again!

Alright...I'm going to try and get better about updating about my pregnancy too!

I feel pretty good. I was having lots of morning sickness last week but I really think it was because I've been taking my prenatal vitamin, dha supplement and vitamin b supplement in the morning. I didn't do that today and I'm feeling good! Now I just need to remember to take them at night! I did throw up on Sunday..but again I think that is from the extra vitamins.

I'm not showing, of course. Jeff claims I have a 'pooch' but today at the dr. I had lost a pound so I'm actualy -1lb prepregnancy weight. I actually found a chart that says how much I should gain in the first trimester...I think it was about 5 lbs? I have another appointment in a month (I know! how am I supposed to wait that long?!) so we'll see then! I'll be 13 weeks.

Right now baby is about an inch long (size of a regular strawberry) and my uterus is the size of a small cantalope! Geez...why so big?! I can still button my jeans but I do have 2 pairs of maternity pants that I prefer...just because elastic is much more comfy :-)

No big projects in the nursery yet. I do have some baby items I'm going to work on sewing though! I might do some this weekend...we'll see how much I feel like doing! haha.

I'll try harder at updating weekly!

updates....

I know I've been really bad about blogging about this pregnancy. I'm good after appointments, because I want to update pics and videos but otherwise I pretty much suck. So, I'm going to babble and update about the last couple weeks.

First, I realized why I've been so terrified something is going to happen to baby P. It just feels too good to be true and I'm so scared someone will take this all away from me. I've dreamed all my life of getting married to an amazing man (check), buying a beautiful house (check) and having children. I just realized this the other day....I am just so, incredibly excited it seems too good to be true. I feel so blessed and I love every minute, but when I think to much or get to excited I worry that I shouldn't...because I can't be so lucky. I'm doing my very best to stay positive and happy though! I love this baby, this pregnancy, everything...I just love it so much I can't image having something happen to my little one.

Second...I finally got morning sickness. More like morning naseousness. It sucks. During work I just want to sit at my desk and try my hardest not to through up in my trashcan. Eating doesn't help..sometimes makes it worst. I threw up a little bit this morning....yuck. Hopefully in the next 3 weeks this goes away!

Next, Lisa and Peyton and I went shopping today! It was alot of fun. We went to the Gap since I had a gift card to spend. I got two shirts on clearance for $20. Pics below:-) Honestly, with that belly on I felt huge and wide. But I can't wait to get a belly...I hate the puggy stufff and the ackward stage. I want a big, hard, belly!! Now!! haha...yes..I know, soon enough! I also got Krue a brown sweatshirt from Children's Place for $6. It looked like a Hurley sweatshirt so I bought it...since that's all Jeff wears. Anyway....here's pics....





















I'm laughing here..but I think I look huge!! Ahh!!!

















Hm...I think those are all the updates for now. Oh..wait, Jeff asks me daily how big I'll be at this time. Like...how big will you be at Christmas? When will you get a belly? Haha. I think he's ready for this to feel, and look, more 'real' too!! In a month I'll be 13 weeks...by Thanksgiving I'll be 15 weeks...maybe by then I'll actually feel pregnant!

An amazing appointment

We just got back from our 8 week appointment and ultrasound...it was incredible! Baby P was measuring 8 weeks 1 day and his heartbeat was at 170 bpm. His little legs were moving around (you can kinda see it in the video below...but the u/s tech and him are moving so much it's hard to see until the end). The video also shows the heartbeat and you can kind of hear it. Sadly though we graduating from Dr.C's care :-( I am really sad and asked if we could stay forever! haha. He assured me feeling super great was ok and that his wife didn't feel pregnant, at all, with their twins!! Afterward he hugged us goodbye and said to send him a pic when the baby is born! I think we'll send a card and cookies or something in the next couple weeks :-) Now next week we have our ultrasound and appointment with Dr. M!! Can't wait!!!!!

Appointment

Today our appointment is at 9am...it got rescheduled (like it does many times). Please pray for healthy, wonderful, happy baby!!

Nervous...

I don't know why but I'm really nervous for our next ultrasound on Thursday. I just fear that something will happen to our little one. All I can do now is pray and hope. I don't know why I do this to myself, but I overthink everything. I worry that my boobs don't hurt as bad, I don't have morning sickness, etc. Ugh... I just want it to be Thursday so I know everything is ok..

Spare prayers are always welcome....

I love my husband...

My husband is amazing...always has been, always will be. Well on Tuesday night I came home from work.....just another day. Jeff had bought me pink roses and white cala-lillies! What a sweet man :-) Wednesday one of his friends' wifes went into labor and he couldn't stop talking about how excited he is for May. He can't wait for my belly to grow so he can actually rub something, other than my chubbs. We talked about being exciting for birthing class and the actual experience of seeing our daughter or son be born. I honestly can not wait. He is going to be an amazing father. Then last night I had a major migraine...like, lay in the basement, lights off, pillow of my head, wanna cry migraine. It sucked, but Jeff took care of me:-) He made chilli, did the dishes, made scotcharoo's for craft night tonight, woke me for my shot. He just great. I'm always on the bump boards and hear ladies talk about how their husband isn't understanding, or cares about the pregnancy. I couldn't be happier....Jeff has always been amazing and spoiled me rotten ;-) but it's even better to see him interact with me and talk about our child...I can't wait until May-it couldn't come soon enough!

Ok...enough bragging. Back to work and eat my chilli...and pray I don't throw it up :-(