Tomorrow is ET day!! I'm excited, excited because tomorrow at this time I will have my two beautiful babies buried in my uterus. Hopefully, they love it so much in there they decide to stay and burrow in deep, implant and grow, grow grow!!
Today we went to church, which was amazing. We sang a song reminding me that no matter what, I need to Rejoice in Him ALWAYS! I love church, Jeff loves church, and I can't wait to go again. I decided this fall I am going to join in some of the activities, like MarriageLive, Celebrate Recovery, One2One and more. I love being there...it makes me feel welcome and loved. And it reminded me that God has my life in His hands, and that is the best place for it to be.
I'm excited for tomorrow and plan on relaxing as much as possible. Amy taught me to knit this weekend so maybe working on that, otherwise going to relax and concentrate on my embies burrowing into my uterus and staying warm and comfy. The girlies are coming over around dinner to cook for me and snuggle with me while I'm on bed rest.
My side effects are ok, I've been dizzy as hell from the Doxy (i think) and the progesterone shots aren't getting any easier. But not much to complain about, no headaches which is amazing. I have a hard time sleeping at night, but I don't know what that's from-maybe anxiety, maybe meds, who knows! Uterus is still alittle sore when I move too much. Definatly not as bad as I expected.
I also started eating pineapple a few days ago to help with implantation ;-) It's suuuper yummy!
I just got out of a bubble bath, now snuggling with my kitty and getting ready to go to bed...
Updates and hopefully pics tomorrow!!!!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
No news is good news!
Be prepared...this maybe a TMI post! The last couples days I've been so incredibly dizzy, it sucks. I'm guessing it's a side effect from one of the drugs but I still don't like it. The day after my ER I thought I was starting to get a yeast infection (told you it was TMI!).....another sick side effect from Doxy. Fabulous! So I consulted with Jeff (yes-we're super open and talk about everything) and decided to call Dr. Cooper this morning. He said it was super normal and just called me in a pill. He also said that today they would be looking at our little babies again and they would call if anything changes (for the worst). Well...no news!! That's good news!!
My a** cheeks hurt, bad! I've had a progesterone shot in each butt cheek now and tonight will be number three.....wahhhhh! They suck, and hurt. They actually hurt worse in the morning after the bruise has shown up and the soreness starts. I tried a warm compress and massaging the area after the injection but it didn't help. Oh well...3 more weeks of it and another 12 if I'm pregnant. A fun side effect from the progesterone is my boobs grew! Like crazy!! Ok, maybe only a half cup size but I am not complaining :-) This morning I got out of the shower and Jeff said the left one was bigger....yeah-a whole cup size bigger, seriously! (again sorry for the tmi). Anyway, things are going well. My spirits are up and Jeff and I talked today about what would happen if this didn't work. He wants to try one more time in January-I'm torn. We'll see how the next couple months go. He also started talking about what the embroyos should look like before transfer. Turns out he researched all about them last night...now he knows more than I do! That's good though-maybe he can explain things to me for once :-)
Monday morning the embryo transfer will be at 10am. Then bed rest for 2 days. I'll have a pic of our babies and will definatly post it as soon as I can. I usually scan the pics in at work and won't be back until Wednesday so you may have to hold off...I'll see what I can do though!
Well...off to be lazy. It's nice to be able to be lazy on a beautiful Saturday afternoon and not feel bad. My uterus is sore and I'm dizzy so some tv and napping sounds good to me!!
My a** cheeks hurt, bad! I've had a progesterone shot in each butt cheek now and tonight will be number three.....wahhhhh! They suck, and hurt. They actually hurt worse in the morning after the bruise has shown up and the soreness starts. I tried a warm compress and massaging the area after the injection but it didn't help. Oh well...3 more weeks of it and another 12 if I'm pregnant. A fun side effect from the progesterone is my boobs grew! Like crazy!! Ok, maybe only a half cup size but I am not complaining :-) This morning I got out of the shower and Jeff said the left one was bigger....yeah-a whole cup size bigger, seriously! (again sorry for the tmi). Anyway, things are going well. My spirits are up and Jeff and I talked today about what would happen if this didn't work. He wants to try one more time in January-I'm torn. We'll see how the next couple months go. He also started talking about what the embroyos should look like before transfer. Turns out he researched all about them last night...now he knows more than I do! That's good though-maybe he can explain things to me for once :-)
Monday morning the embryo transfer will be at 10am. Then bed rest for 2 days. I'll have a pic of our babies and will definatly post it as soon as I can. I usually scan the pics in at work and won't be back until Wednesday so you may have to hold off...I'll see what I can do though!
Well...off to be lazy. It's nice to be able to be lazy on a beautiful Saturday afternoon and not feel bad. My uterus is sore and I'm dizzy so some tv and napping sounds good to me!!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wanna see something scary?
This is the needle that Jeff will use to insert progesterone in my butt cheek every night for the next 3 weeks!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Second, I found this picture while upload pics tonight. Jeff claims I asked him to take a pic of me after the egg retrieval? Uh...what?!?! haha, I think it's hilarious! First, I look like I'm 300lbs, second, I think I'm pretending to sleep because I'm like smirking, third-it's just plain hilarious!
Hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!!
Mini-Melt Down
So I had a mini-break down at work today. Around 11:30 (right before I leave for lunch) I noticed a VM on my cell phone. It was from our RE's nurse, Cheryl. I called right back and she said only 3 of our 7 eggs were fertilized. I asked if they looked good and she said yes, than asked her if it was bad news that only 3 fertilized and if they would make it. She said 'you've got to stay positive, because we are' and 'sometimes not all the embies make it to the transfer so we just have to wait and see'. Tears....lots of tears. Then an employee stopped down and I had to pretend I had 'bad allergies'. Oh boy, it was bad.
I ran out of work to take my lunch break and called Jeff bawling. He was staying positive and told me everything would be ok. I felt like I was failing us, again. I made him promise me he would love me even if we couldn't have bio babies and we agreed if this is a big failure, we need to start persuing adoption but also taking a break (and maybe a nice vacation to Bermuda). I always feel so strong and positve at the beginning of cycles, but slowly start to remember how hard all this is. I feel like I have so much weight on my shoulders and it doesn't help that I'm jacked up on a gazillion meds.
I got back to work and borrowed a coworker's make up and she said maybe we should name them Hewey, Dewey, and Lewey. haha. I'm ok now. I know it only takes 1 to make a healthy baby and we really need to put our trust in Him, but stupid Jeff had to remind me last week that we trusted him with Ducky, and looked what happened. I can't think of it that way. During lunch I cried to Him forever, asking Him to just lift me up. That if this doesn't work that he will show me all the things he has in store for my life. That He will comfort us and that He won't hate me when I'm mad at Him. I also wrote a prayer request for us through our prayer chain at church. I hate second-guessing God. It's not my place to do but it's so easy to wonder if He has forgotten you. If you are important enough for Him to waste His time listening too. I know that all seems immature and selfish, but sometimes I'm scared He doesn't care about us. But I have to trust in Him no matter what...no matter what happens, no matter what.
So all we can do is pray that our three babies make it to the embryo transfer on Monday morning at 10am.
On another note...I look 4 months pregnant. My stomach is so incredibly swollen from surgery yesterday. I peed 4 times last night because my swollen insides were pressing on my blatter. Oh, and I had to be carefull when I moved positions because it felt like my insides were ripping out. Today at work I waddle, I hold my stomach when no one is watching because it feels like my uterus will fall out any minute. Am I a baby with pain? Yes, but still. Guess this might be a little clue into what pregnancy might be like? Better get used to that now, huh?!
Alright...off to work, and pray, and listen to uplifting music.
I ran out of work to take my lunch break and called Jeff bawling. He was staying positive and told me everything would be ok. I felt like I was failing us, again. I made him promise me he would love me even if we couldn't have bio babies and we agreed if this is a big failure, we need to start persuing adoption but also taking a break (and maybe a nice vacation to Bermuda). I always feel so strong and positve at the beginning of cycles, but slowly start to remember how hard all this is. I feel like I have so much weight on my shoulders and it doesn't help that I'm jacked up on a gazillion meds.
I got back to work and borrowed a coworker's make up and she said maybe we should name them Hewey, Dewey, and Lewey. haha. I'm ok now. I know it only takes 1 to make a healthy baby and we really need to put our trust in Him, but stupid Jeff had to remind me last week that we trusted him with Ducky, and looked what happened. I can't think of it that way. During lunch I cried to Him forever, asking Him to just lift me up. That if this doesn't work that he will show me all the things he has in store for my life. That He will comfort us and that He won't hate me when I'm mad at Him. I also wrote a prayer request for us through our prayer chain at church. I hate second-guessing God. It's not my place to do but it's so easy to wonder if He has forgotten you. If you are important enough for Him to waste His time listening too. I know that all seems immature and selfish, but sometimes I'm scared He doesn't care about us. But I have to trust in Him no matter what...no matter what happens, no matter what.
So all we can do is pray that our three babies make it to the embryo transfer on Monday morning at 10am.
On another note...I look 4 months pregnant. My stomach is so incredibly swollen from surgery yesterday. I peed 4 times last night because my swollen insides were pressing on my blatter. Oh, and I had to be carefull when I moved positions because it felt like my insides were ripping out. Today at work I waddle, I hold my stomach when no one is watching because it feels like my uterus will fall out any minute. Am I a baby with pain? Yes, but still. Guess this might be a little clue into what pregnancy might be like? Better get used to that now, huh?!
Alright...off to work, and pray, and listen to uplifting music.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Lucky #7
This will probably be the longest post ever...but here goes.
Last night and this morning my ovaries have felt very 'full'. I've had some pain on both sides because they are so huge, last night mostly was on my left side. My boobs are also sore from the Ovidrel shot, normal symptoms from Ovidrel which makes you think your pregnant...when your not!
This morning we got up and got ready. I couldn't eat or drink so basically just showered, dressed and was ready to go. Jeff had to do his 'business' before we left, then off to MIF. Right when we got there we checked in and Jolie called us back. We went to a room and I sat down in a nice recliner, had a warm blanket over me, and Jeff beside me.
Jolie started my IV, which didn't go too well. My arms are really bruised from all the bloodwork but she tried a small vein instead, it was pretty painful and felt a big pop. Oops--that was my vein! So, we had to go to the hand. That sucked more and was way more painful, but I got my 'margarita mix' (as Dr.C says) soo after it wasn't too bad. Jolie felt super bad too so I can't blame her too much-I just have sucky veins!
We were given a sheet to read over with instructions that told us what meds to take and when. Tomorrow I start the 18gage needle....not cool.
Once my 'cocktail' was inserted into my IV, I don't remember much. I remember making Jeff promise that when they walk me to the procedure room that my gown is covered so no one sees my chubby butt.
It was like a dream-the whole procedure. I remember nurses/doctor mummbles stuff to me but I really remember the pain. It was like someone was pulling at my ovaries. I remember grunting and whining alot but Jolie said I was pretty quite. The next thing I know I'm siting in the recliner looking at Jeff. I asked him when I was going to the procedure and he said it was already done! Then, slowly the 'dream' came back and I started remembering parts of the procedure. My tummy hurt pretty bad, really sore. We sat there for awhile and then, it was time to leave.
It was so hard to walk, so I sat while Jeff checked us out. Then Jeff helped me outside and into the car. That was so uncomfortable, my tummy hurt and I had some sharp pains. Then I remembered they forgot to tell me how many eggs they had retrieved! Jeff ran into ask Whitney, the receptionist but she said they could call tomorrow. Ugh, no I remember they said we would find out before we left. So I left a groggy message for a nurse.
I was starving so Jeff stopped to get me Casey's donuts and then we came home. I barely remember coming inside and laying down. I ate a donut and then zonked out. I woke up when Jeff called. He said Tiffany, the nurse, called to say they retrieved 7 eggs. WHAT? Out of all those follicles I only got 7. But Jeff claims Tiffany told him that the eggs were already working on getting fertilized and they all looked awesome! Well, that's good news! I told Shawna, my good friend, who reminded me that 7 is a very lucky number :-)
Right now I'm just laying on the mattress Jeff brought downstairs. I'm feeling better, just sore. I can't walk really fast and kind of hobble around. Still having some sharp pains but as long as I don't move I'm ok. haha. Jeff should be home from work in about an hour. I hope tomorrow goes ok at work, we'll see.
Right now we are just praying that all goes well, and we are finally blessed with a healthy baby!
Can I ask you guys a favor? I appreciate all your prayers for me, but can you also pray for my friend Suzanne? She just had her 2nd ultrasound today after getting pregnant from IVF and the babies heartbeat was slower and hasn't grown. Her RE doesn't think the baby will make it, please pray for her. I know how hard it is to loose a baby and I wouldn't want that for anyone, especially not her. Thank you for all your prayers guys, your the best!
Last night and this morning my ovaries have felt very 'full'. I've had some pain on both sides because they are so huge, last night mostly was on my left side. My boobs are also sore from the Ovidrel shot, normal symptoms from Ovidrel which makes you think your pregnant...when your not!
This morning we got up and got ready. I couldn't eat or drink so basically just showered, dressed and was ready to go. Jeff had to do his 'business' before we left, then off to MIF. Right when we got there we checked in and Jolie called us back. We went to a room and I sat down in a nice recliner, had a warm blanket over me, and Jeff beside me.
Jolie started my IV, which didn't go too well. My arms are really bruised from all the bloodwork but she tried a small vein instead, it was pretty painful and felt a big pop. Oops--that was my vein! So, we had to go to the hand. That sucked more and was way more painful, but I got my 'margarita mix' (as Dr.C says) soo after it wasn't too bad. Jolie felt super bad too so I can't blame her too much-I just have sucky veins!
We were given a sheet to read over with instructions that told us what meds to take and when. Tomorrow I start the 18gage needle....not cool.
Once my 'cocktail' was inserted into my IV, I don't remember much. I remember making Jeff promise that when they walk me to the procedure room that my gown is covered so no one sees my chubby butt.
It was like a dream-the whole procedure. I remember nurses/doctor mummbles stuff to me but I really remember the pain. It was like someone was pulling at my ovaries. I remember grunting and whining alot but Jolie said I was pretty quite. The next thing I know I'm siting in the recliner looking at Jeff. I asked him when I was going to the procedure and he said it was already done! Then, slowly the 'dream' came back and I started remembering parts of the procedure. My tummy hurt pretty bad, really sore. We sat there for awhile and then, it was time to leave.
It was so hard to walk, so I sat while Jeff checked us out. Then Jeff helped me outside and into the car. That was so uncomfortable, my tummy hurt and I had some sharp pains. Then I remembered they forgot to tell me how many eggs they had retrieved! Jeff ran into ask Whitney, the receptionist but she said they could call tomorrow. Ugh, no I remember they said we would find out before we left. So I left a groggy message for a nurse.
I was starving so Jeff stopped to get me Casey's donuts and then we came home. I barely remember coming inside and laying down. I ate a donut and then zonked out. I woke up when Jeff called. He said Tiffany, the nurse, called to say they retrieved 7 eggs. WHAT? Out of all those follicles I only got 7. But Jeff claims Tiffany told him that the eggs were already working on getting fertilized and they all looked awesome! Well, that's good news! I told Shawna, my good friend, who reminded me that 7 is a very lucky number :-)
Right now I'm just laying on the mattress Jeff brought downstairs. I'm feeling better, just sore. I can't walk really fast and kind of hobble around. Still having some sharp pains but as long as I don't move I'm ok. haha. Jeff should be home from work in about an hour. I hope tomorrow goes ok at work, we'll see.
Right now we are just praying that all goes well, and we are finally blessed with a healthy baby!
Can I ask you guys a favor? I appreciate all your prayers for me, but can you also pray for my friend Suzanne? She just had her 2nd ultrasound today after getting pregnant from IVF and the babies heartbeat was slower and hasn't grown. Her RE doesn't think the baby will make it, please pray for her. I know how hard it is to loose a baby and I wouldn't want that for anyone, especially not her. Thank you for all your prayers guys, your the best!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
CD 13
Could today go any slower? I'm ready to be done at work and go hang out with some friend's. (Erin and Lindsey!) Jeff has softball tonight so instead of hanging out at home alone I thought I'd travel to Adel and spend some time with some good friends. I'm excited and nervous for tomorrow. Jeff is hopefully going to be able to stay home for most of the day with me-he said he won't even go into work if I'm in alot of pain but I think half the day will be spent sleeping!
No shots today, just Doxy twice today day. It's a pill that is an antibiotic, I need to take it because there will be tiny holes in my ovaries from the retrieval and we don't want an infection! Oh, and baby aspirin once a day to help with implantation. I've had some cramps today and lots of pains on my left and right side, probably from those follicles getting gigantic.
Oh, and Dr.M (my OB) called in a high dose of vitamin B for me. He said it will help with implantation and staying pregnant! I also picked up some fresh pineapple, I need to eat the pineapple core tomorrow through next week to also help with implantation :-)
I'll update tomorrow night after the retrieval......Eak!!!
No shots today, just Doxy twice today day. It's a pill that is an antibiotic, I need to take it because there will be tiny holes in my ovaries from the retrieval and we don't want an infection! Oh, and baby aspirin once a day to help with implantation. I've had some cramps today and lots of pains on my left and right side, probably from those follicles getting gigantic.
Oh, and Dr.M (my OB) called in a high dose of vitamin B for me. He said it will help with implantation and staying pregnant! I also picked up some fresh pineapple, I need to eat the pineapple core tomorrow through next week to also help with implantation :-)
I'll update tomorrow night after the retrieval......Eak!!!
CD12
Today is CD 12 and 2 days before our egg retrieval. We had an u/s today to determine my follicles were ready, we only had about 8-10 mature eggs but Dr.Cooper said that was fine and we're good to go! (I have to remember that quality is better than quantity.) Jeff and I did b/w to check for HIV, Aids, Hep B, etc and then we talked to Dr. Cooper and the nurse. They explained the whole procedure and gave me a list of what meds to take over the next couple days. We also had to sign a consent form as to what we'll do with the frozen eggs that we don't use (now or at a later date). We decided we would donate them to a couple that can't get pregnant with their own eggs. I couldn't image letting our 'babies' be subject to research or death, so donation was our plan. However, the eggs will be frozen until we either die or decide we are done having children, then they will be donated to a unidentified couple.
Tonight I had to do my Ovidrel injections at Shalie's house because she was highlighting me hair. The injections were so easy, I did them all by myself!! They are changing my ER time to 7:45am (intead of 5:45am) on Wednesday! My Repronex injections hurt like h-e-double hockey sticks and I'm still super sore today. :-( The nurse asked me if my ovaries felt huge, and yes-they do! I couldn't believe how big my ovaries looked on the u/s monitor...geez! Anyway-that's all for today. More updates tomorrow.... Oh-and I peaked at my progesterone injection needles, they are 18 gage, which is gigantic. I'm not looking forward to those suckers-getting stuck daily for up to 12 weeks with an 18 gage needle....fabulous.
Tonight I had to do my Ovidrel injections at Shalie's house because she was highlighting me hair. The injections were so easy, I did them all by myself!! They are changing my ER time to 7:45am (intead of 5:45am) on Wednesday! My Repronex injections hurt like h-e-double hockey sticks and I'm still super sore today. :-( The nurse asked me if my ovaries felt huge, and yes-they do! I couldn't believe how big my ovaries looked on the u/s monitor...geez! Anyway-that's all for today. More updates tomorrow.... Oh-and I peaked at my progesterone injection needles, they are 18 gage, which is gigantic. I'm not looking forward to those suckers-getting stuck daily for up to 12 weeks with an 18 gage needle....fabulous.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
We're converting to IVF....
Holy cow, so much has changed in just one short week! Cheryl called and Dr. Copper doesn't feel comfortable going ahead with the IUI since we have so many follicles and my estrogen jumped up to 1271, over night. We had the choice to cancel the cycle and redo another one in 2 months or convert, and of course we decided to convert to IVF. There was no way I spent so much time and money to cancel a cycle! Cheryl (our nurse) called Monica, the billing lady at MIF and we discussed the cost of IVF. Of course, our savings will be drained-we'll need to work on building that up over the next 9 months, if we get pregnant, but that wasn't stopping us. Cheryl then talked to use about the procedure and told us to go pick up our drugs from the pharmacy.
We only spent about $300 in meds, which is actually really good. However, the amount of drugs we picked up from the pharmacy was crazy and overwelming. The pharmacist explained everything, but I'm still confused. I remember progesterone shots hurt, BB means black syringe in butt, pink syringe is painful....oh geez! Here's a pic of all the meds......
Tonight I do another injection of Follistim, 37.5mg. Then repronex which is like Follistim, with lots of hormones and another injection to make sure I don't ovulate before the egg retrieval.
Tomorrow we go in for another u/s to confirm the ER (egg retrieval) will be Wednesday. Jeff and I have to do b/w for weird things like Aids, HIV, Hep B, etc. Then we'll talk with the nurse and Dr. C to get all the info about our procedure, meds, etc.
Wednesday is egg retrieval, I'll be put out and basically they will insert a large needle into my cervix and suck (literally) the eggs out of my ovaries. Then between Wed and Monday they will insert Jeff's sperm into my eggs, and wait for the cells to multiple. On Monday they will insert the cells (blastocyst) into my uterus where we'll wait for it to implant and hopefully grow into a baby! If we have any exra blasts left, we'll be able to freeze them and implant them into me at a later date if this IVF doesn't work or if we want another baby.
I'll be out of work all day Wednesday and then on bedrest Monday after the trasnfer and Tuesday...then off to San Diego Friday! Crazy week, huh?! I'll update with more info when we have our next appointment. Again, prayers are the most important factor in this whole procedure so they are always welcome!
Here's a cool and very informational video Jeff and I found on youtube.com about IVF procedure.
And Another...
We only spent about $300 in meds, which is actually really good. However, the amount of drugs we picked up from the pharmacy was crazy and overwelming. The pharmacist explained everything, but I'm still confused. I remember progesterone shots hurt, BB means black syringe in butt, pink syringe is painful....oh geez! Here's a pic of all the meds......
Tonight I do another injection of Follistim, 37.5mg. Then repronex which is like Follistim, with lots of hormones and another injection to make sure I don't ovulate before the egg retrieval.
Tomorrow we go in for another u/s to confirm the ER (egg retrieval) will be Wednesday. Jeff and I have to do b/w for weird things like Aids, HIV, Hep B, etc. Then we'll talk with the nurse and Dr. C to get all the info about our procedure, meds, etc.
Wednesday is egg retrieval, I'll be put out and basically they will insert a large needle into my cervix and suck (literally) the eggs out of my ovaries. Then between Wed and Monday they will insert Jeff's sperm into my eggs, and wait for the cells to multiple. On Monday they will insert the cells (blastocyst) into my uterus where we'll wait for it to implant and hopefully grow into a baby! If we have any exra blasts left, we'll be able to freeze them and implant them into me at a later date if this IVF doesn't work or if we want another baby.
I'll be out of work all day Wednesday and then on bedrest Monday after the trasnfer and Tuesday...then off to San Diego Friday! Crazy week, huh?! I'll update with more info when we have our next appointment. Again, prayers are the most important factor in this whole procedure so they are always welcome!
Here's a cool and very informational video Jeff and I found on youtube.com about IVF procedure.
And Another...
Waiting for the call...
To see if we will be converting to IVF. Wow, what a morning!
I set my alarm for 8:15, so I could get up, throw on some clothes and brush my hair and teeth and run out the door to my appointment at 8:50. Well, at 8:30 Jeff says; Aren't we supposed to be leaving right now? Ah!! I was still in bed cuddling with my sweet little kitty. Crap! So I got up, threw on clothes, a hat and used mouth wash in the car. We made it there right on time!
Holley, the lab nurse drew my blood again. Luckily, it came easy and I didn't even bruise! Then came the ultrasound. Right away I knew that my follies had grown quite a bit; they were huge! While Cheryl was measuring she asked if this was our first round of Follistim. I knew this meant she was suprised at how much my follicles had grown. We talked about how on Femara I never had good follies, just one huge, overmature one. We also discussed how much my Follicles had grown over night, even with the decreased dose of Follistim. I had one large follicle on my right side, measuring 15mm. Then about 4-6 measuring 12-14mm. My left side had more, bigger ones. I think these are the measurements...one at 18, one at 16, 2 or 3 at 15, plus many more measuring 12-14mm. Now, to go ahead with an IUI we need 3-5 mature follicles measuring 15-20. However, usually they see one or two mature ones with a few smaller ones (12-14mm). I told Cheryl we were ok with converting to IVF, and would much rather do that than cancel the cycle and have all our time and money wasted.
Currently, we are waiting from a call from Cheryl. We are waiting to see how much my Estrogen level jumped, if it didn't increase too much than that means not all the follicles are holding eggs and we'll go ahead with an IUI and plan on multiples.
Or, we'll convert to IVF. Which means more drugs today, egg retrevial on Wednesday and transfer on Monday the 31st. Holy, freakin cow. I've gotten to the point where I don't care what I need to go through, I wanna be a mommy. I want to have my own children, to carry them, to love them, to watch them grown, to hear them call us mommy and daddy. Prayers are always welcome. We're nervous and excited. I'll update once I hear from Cheryl!!!!!!!!!
Here's a description of IUI and IVF...for chose who don't know what I'm tallking about ;-)
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/insemination-procedures-for-infertility
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/in-vitro-fertilization
I set my alarm for 8:15, so I could get up, throw on some clothes and brush my hair and teeth and run out the door to my appointment at 8:50. Well, at 8:30 Jeff says; Aren't we supposed to be leaving right now? Ah!! I was still in bed cuddling with my sweet little kitty. Crap! So I got up, threw on clothes, a hat and used mouth wash in the car. We made it there right on time!
Holley, the lab nurse drew my blood again. Luckily, it came easy and I didn't even bruise! Then came the ultrasound. Right away I knew that my follies had grown quite a bit; they were huge! While Cheryl was measuring she asked if this was our first round of Follistim. I knew this meant she was suprised at how much my follicles had grown. We talked about how on Femara I never had good follies, just one huge, overmature one. We also discussed how much my Follicles had grown over night, even with the decreased dose of Follistim. I had one large follicle on my right side, measuring 15mm. Then about 4-6 measuring 12-14mm. My left side had more, bigger ones. I think these are the measurements...one at 18, one at 16, 2 or 3 at 15, plus many more measuring 12-14mm. Now, to go ahead with an IUI we need 3-5 mature follicles measuring 15-20. However, usually they see one or two mature ones with a few smaller ones (12-14mm). I told Cheryl we were ok with converting to IVF, and would much rather do that than cancel the cycle and have all our time and money wasted.
Currently, we are waiting from a call from Cheryl. We are waiting to see how much my Estrogen level jumped, if it didn't increase too much than that means not all the follicles are holding eggs and we'll go ahead with an IUI and plan on multiples.
Or, we'll convert to IVF. Which means more drugs today, egg retrevial on Wednesday and transfer on Monday the 31st. Holy, freakin cow. I've gotten to the point where I don't care what I need to go through, I wanna be a mommy. I want to have my own children, to carry them, to love them, to watch them grown, to hear them call us mommy and daddy. Prayers are always welcome. We're nervous and excited. I'll update once I hear from Cheryl!!!!!!!!!
Here's a description of IUI and IVF...for chose who don't know what I'm tallking about ;-)
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/insemination-procedures-for-infertility
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/in-vitro-fertilization
Saturday, August 22, 2009
CD8
Today we had another ultrasound and bloodwork. Jeff came along and then we had breakfast at I-Hop...yum!!! Anyway, the nurse had to stick me twice for the bloodwork. I have some bad bruising on my right arm so the nurse tried my left, and she couldn't even get blood out! So, we went back to the right and now I have two more bruises on my arms. The ultrasound went well...but no pics :-( I had about 4-6 follicles on my right side ranging in size from 10-14. The left side showed 6-8 follicles ranging from 10-14, then one size 15.5. They wanted me to continue with another 75mg of follistim and ultrasound Monday, then IUI on Wednesday.
Well, I had a missed call when we got home. Cheryl had talked to Dr.Cooper and he wants me to do a injection of 37.5units and come back from an ultrasound on Sunday morning. They don't want all my follicles to grow too much, just the one to grow to about 17mm. If the biggest follicle is 17mm we will do an IUI on Tuesday, if not we'll talk about what to do tomorrow. The biggest concern was that my Estrogen raised from 299 to 8?? (I think it was 897, but can't be sure). With it raising over 500 units in just 2 days, they are worried too many follicles are maturing and we'll have to convert to IVF. I'll update after the appointment tomorrow. Tonight we are watching my friends little boy, Avery, so I need to go play!
Well, I had a missed call when we got home. Cheryl had talked to Dr.Cooper and he wants me to do a injection of 37.5units and come back from an ultrasound on Sunday morning. They don't want all my follicles to grow too much, just the one to grow to about 17mm. If the biggest follicle is 17mm we will do an IUI on Tuesday, if not we'll talk about what to do tomorrow. The biggest concern was that my Estrogen raised from 299 to 8?? (I think it was 897, but can't be sure). With it raising over 500 units in just 2 days, they are worried too many follicles are maturing and we'll have to convert to IVF. I'll update after the appointment tomorrow. Tonight we are watching my friends little boy, Avery, so I need to go play!
CD7
Yesterday was cyle day 7. I've had alot of lower back pain-which could be from stress. I was in a car accident when I was younger and fractured my L2 verterbra. Now, whenever I'm stressed my back pain flares up so it could be from that...who knows.
Today I time traveled-back to the 1950's, or so it seemed. Jeff has always picked up my meds before because of convenience but today I decided to pick it up. I walked into an old fashioned ice cream parlor with a pharmacy in the back. Honestly, it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. There was a bar along one side, with old fashioned ice cream machines, a convenience store style on the other side and then the pharmacy in the back. The pharmacy was lined with old medicine bottles at the top. It was soo adorable and next time I need to pick up drugs, I'm getting ice cream!!
Anyway, the follistim injection was fine. I've had a few ovary pains-mostly from them growing. Also, the last couple days I've had headaches from my follistim. The pharmacist warned me that the progesterone will probably give me headaches for the first week or so....great! The progesterone is actual vaginal suppositories which I have to place inside my hoo-haa twice a day. Fabulous....the joys of fertility treatments.......
Today I time traveled-back to the 1950's, or so it seemed. Jeff has always picked up my meds before because of convenience but today I decided to pick it up. I walked into an old fashioned ice cream parlor with a pharmacy in the back. Honestly, it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. There was a bar along one side, with old fashioned ice cream machines, a convenience store style on the other side and then the pharmacy in the back. The pharmacy was lined with old medicine bottles at the top. It was soo adorable and next time I need to pick up drugs, I'm getting ice cream!!
Anyway, the follistim injection was fine. I've had a few ovary pains-mostly from them growing. Also, the last couple days I've had headaches from my follistim. The pharmacist warned me that the progesterone will probably give me headaches for the first week or so....great! The progesterone is actual vaginal suppositories which I have to place inside my hoo-haa twice a day. Fabulous....the joys of fertility treatments.......
Thursday, August 20, 2009
CD 8
Oh…what a day! Things are going so well, it’s exciting! But, first let me tell you how I have the most amazing husband in the world….
Last night I had a bad migraine but with my jewelry party going on tonight I really needed to deep clean the house. Jeff helped out with laundry, vacuuming (he says it’s like mowing, so he can do that-ha), and dishes. After we were finished my head hurt so bad I felt sick. I buried my head in Jeff’s lap and watched the Octomom special. (By the way-she’s an idiot and seems very immature) Anyway…10pm rolls around when we need to do my injections and I was fast asleep with my little Kinsi. I vaguely remember Jeff telling me it was time for my meds but my head hurt so bad I couldn’t even think straight. So, Jeff rolled me over, stuck the needle in my stomach, and rolled me back so I could fall back asleep. I only sort of remember this, but we talked about it in the morning. He is the greatest; I would have totally missed my injection if it wasn’t for him. He’s the best J
Anyway, back to this morning….I picked up Jeff from work at 8:10 and we headed to MIF. My arm is pretty bruised up from all the blood work I’ve been doing so they had to use another tiny vain, which bruised instantly-hope they heal by Saturday or we’ll be in trouble ;-) We had a new nurse, who I didn’t like as well. She was nice and all, but I always felt dumb asking questions-like I should know everything already. Even when I asked for copies of the ultrasound pics, so I could show all you guys on my blog, she thought that was very weird. Oh well…got pics to show anyway! The ultrasound showed my uterine lining was nice and thick and my follicles were defiantly growing! I should have between 3-5 mature follicles (mature meaning 18-20mm) when we trigger (so they will release) and then do the IUI (where the place Jeff’s sperm in me). Right now my right side has about 5 follicles ranging from 10-14mm. My left side has about 6 ranging in size from 10-12 mm. This is all good and dandy, but if all of these continue to mature we will need to convert to IVF. Basically that means instead of me triggering, ovulating, and inseminating me with sperm, they will take my eggs out and fertilize them with his sperm. Once the egg is fertilized and they start to grow they will then be placed into my uterus. Like my mom, your probably wondering why we didn’t just go straight to IVF. For a couple reasons…a.) IUI is much cheaper than IVF b.) IUI is much less intrusive and an easier procedure b.) Usually you try IUI before IVF. Now, although IUI has a 25% chance of success and IVF has a 50% chance of success, we still decided to do an IUI. Now that we’ve gotten to this point though I’m fine with converting. We’ve gotten this far, why now pay the extra cash, do the extra steps and increase our chances of conceiving? We’ll see what the nurse says on Saturday. We have an appointment at 9:10 and we’ll be able to (hopefully) decide on when I’m triggering or if we need to convert. More updates then!
Below is a picture of my right and left ovaries, with my follicles. The big dark circles are the follicle sacs. You can see they are much bigger than my ultrasound before!
Update: Estrogen level was at 299
Last night I had a bad migraine but with my jewelry party going on tonight I really needed to deep clean the house. Jeff helped out with laundry, vacuuming (he says it’s like mowing, so he can do that-ha), and dishes. After we were finished my head hurt so bad I felt sick. I buried my head in Jeff’s lap and watched the Octomom special. (By the way-she’s an idiot and seems very immature) Anyway…10pm rolls around when we need to do my injections and I was fast asleep with my little Kinsi. I vaguely remember Jeff telling me it was time for my meds but my head hurt so bad I couldn’t even think straight. So, Jeff rolled me over, stuck the needle in my stomach, and rolled me back so I could fall back asleep. I only sort of remember this, but we talked about it in the morning. He is the greatest; I would have totally missed my injection if it wasn’t for him. He’s the best J
Anyway, back to this morning….I picked up Jeff from work at 8:10 and we headed to MIF. My arm is pretty bruised up from all the blood work I’ve been doing so they had to use another tiny vain, which bruised instantly-hope they heal by Saturday or we’ll be in trouble ;-) We had a new nurse, who I didn’t like as well. She was nice and all, but I always felt dumb asking questions-like I should know everything already. Even when I asked for copies of the ultrasound pics, so I could show all you guys on my blog, she thought that was very weird. Oh well…got pics to show anyway! The ultrasound showed my uterine lining was nice and thick and my follicles were defiantly growing! I should have between 3-5 mature follicles (mature meaning 18-20mm) when we trigger (so they will release) and then do the IUI (where the place Jeff’s sperm in me). Right now my right side has about 5 follicles ranging from 10-14mm. My left side has about 6 ranging in size from 10-12 mm. This is all good and dandy, but if all of these continue to mature we will need to convert to IVF. Basically that means instead of me triggering, ovulating, and inseminating me with sperm, they will take my eggs out and fertilize them with his sperm. Once the egg is fertilized and they start to grow they will then be placed into my uterus. Like my mom, your probably wondering why we didn’t just go straight to IVF. For a couple reasons…a.) IUI is much cheaper than IVF b.) IUI is much less intrusive and an easier procedure b.) Usually you try IUI before IVF. Now, although IUI has a 25% chance of success and IVF has a 50% chance of success, we still decided to do an IUI. Now that we’ve gotten to this point though I’m fine with converting. We’ve gotten this far, why now pay the extra cash, do the extra steps and increase our chances of conceiving? We’ll see what the nurse says on Saturday. We have an appointment at 9:10 and we’ll be able to (hopefully) decide on when I’m triggering or if we need to convert. More updates then!
Below is a picture of my right and left ovaries, with my follicles. The big dark circles are the follicle sacs. You can see they are much bigger than my ultrasound before!
Update: Estrogen level was at 299
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Cycle Day 7
Nothing to report today…well atleast for IUI stuff anyway. Injections are going well, I feel fine, no more bruising!
Tonight Jeff and I are cleaning and cooking, tomorrow I’m having a jewelry party with a bunch of friends in our basement! I want the house to look awesome so that means I need to get my butt in gear and dust and vacuum!
A friend of mine, Erin, is also getting us tickets to Mercy Me on November 6th. I can’t wait!!! I haven’t been to a concert in forever and I just know this one will be amazing. To tell you the truth, I’ve fallen out of step with God. This last 6 months have been so hard on us and my relationship with Him. If you read older posts you will see that I felt betrayed by him, hurt that My God; who supposedly loves me so much; would put me through so much pain. I had a lot of anger and frustration towards him but this week I’ve made up my mind that I need to reconnect. I read a blog the other day where a girl was talking about how her sister is so close to God, it almost seems like she has his number on speed dial. I want that relationship, more than anything. I don’t know how to get there, but I prayed this morning that we could get back in step, that God would touch my heart and guide us through everything. I haven’t been to church in awhile either (they took away our Saturday service!) so we’re going again on Sunday. I think I will even do Christ-Life Solutions, it’s a program that runs 8(?) weeks and they just talk about your past, your relationship with Christ, etc. It’s a small group activity and my friend, Shawna, did it. She loved it and said it was the mostly amazing experience. Hm..I just looked at POG’s website and saw this series is on Prayer, how it really does change things. I can’t wait for Sunday now!
I guess I don’t know what I’m rambling about…I just want a better relationship with Him. I want to give everything to Him, our baby stress, money stress, job stress. I want Him to take it. I want to feel Him changing my life daily. I want to see how He can change my life. I want Him to change my husband’s life and bring them into a close relationship. I want Jeff to have God’s number on speed dial. Am I asking too much? No….he can do all these things for me…I need patience and trust in Him.
Tonight Jeff and I are cleaning and cooking, tomorrow I’m having a jewelry party with a bunch of friends in our basement! I want the house to look awesome so that means I need to get my butt in gear and dust and vacuum!
A friend of mine, Erin, is also getting us tickets to Mercy Me on November 6th. I can’t wait!!! I haven’t been to a concert in forever and I just know this one will be amazing. To tell you the truth, I’ve fallen out of step with God. This last 6 months have been so hard on us and my relationship with Him. If you read older posts you will see that I felt betrayed by him, hurt that My God; who supposedly loves me so much; would put me through so much pain. I had a lot of anger and frustration towards him but this week I’ve made up my mind that I need to reconnect. I read a blog the other day where a girl was talking about how her sister is so close to God, it almost seems like she has his number on speed dial. I want that relationship, more than anything. I don’t know how to get there, but I prayed this morning that we could get back in step, that God would touch my heart and guide us through everything. I haven’t been to church in awhile either (they took away our Saturday service!) so we’re going again on Sunday. I think I will even do Christ-Life Solutions, it’s a program that runs 8(?) weeks and they just talk about your past, your relationship with Christ, etc. It’s a small group activity and my friend, Shawna, did it. She loved it and said it was the mostly amazing experience. Hm..I just looked at POG’s website and saw this series is on Prayer, how it really does change things. I can’t wait for Sunday now!
I guess I don’t know what I’m rambling about…I just want a better relationship with Him. I want to give everything to Him, our baby stress, money stress, job stress. I want Him to take it. I want to feel Him changing my life daily. I want to see how He can change my life. I want Him to change my husband’s life and bring them into a close relationship. I want Jeff to have God’s number on speed dial. Am I asking too much? No….he can do all these things for me…I need patience and trust in Him.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
CD 5 Update....
Today is CD5! The follistim injections are going well, I have a small bruise already which I'm sure will only get worse. Otherwise, I feel pretty normal! My estrogen level was at 47, they just wanted it below 100 to start and to slowly rise. I'm doing better on my eating healthy, well except for the piece of cake I had for a coworkers birthday (who can resist cake?!) I've only had a can of pop, which is good because I usually have a 20oz. I also drank 4 bottles of water so far, which is pretty impressive considering I used to barely have one a day! I started back on my Metformin and my body is asjusting, if you know what I mean. AF is almost gone as well-ya! Overall, not too much to post or complain about! I'm excited for the ultrasound tomorrow, hoping I've got some good follies growing!
I'll post an update tomorrow, plan on doing this everyday so I can review old entries if we have to do this again. I'm praying not, but we'll see. Bad news is if we do have to do this again, we can't do another one until the end of October :-(
I'll post an update tomorrow, plan on doing this everyday so I can review old entries if we have to do this again. I'm praying not, but we'll see. Bad news is if we do have to do this again, we can't do another one until the end of October :-(
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Follistim-Day 1
Tonight we went to Huhot for dinner and to a movie, The Ugly Truth. It was really good and Jeff even approved :-) When we got home my alarm went off for the 10pm injection! It was easy, as I've done the Ovidrel injections before. Below is a video of our first injection-please disregard my white, chubby tummy. It's been hid behind t-shirts and candy all summer :-) I plan on working on this very soon...
Also pics of the stuff for the injection. Peroxide to clean the injection site and needles, pop bottle to hold my used needles, and the injection pack. I still need to pick up my Ovidrel shot and vaginal suppositories, hopefully I can remember to do that Monday.
Here's also a cute pic of Jeff. He took the booklet from the pack and read each step, to make sure we did it all right. Isn't he adorable :-) He'll be an awesome daddy! Now off to cuddle with Jeff before bed.......
Edit: Estrogen level was at 47
Good News for Once!!!
I had my CD3 ultrasound this morning at 9:50. Jeff asked me last night and this morning what we were looking for and what the plan was. He repeated each step to me, and which CD things would happen. It's so sweet and encouraging how much he cares and is insterested in this whole process. I'm thankful to have such an amazing hubby! Anyway.....
After waiting in the waiting room forever, ok 25 minutes, my name was finaly called. I undressed and waited for nurse to come, dreading the 'vag cam' because I was still having heavy bleeding. I prepared Jeff for the grossness that was about to come! The uterine lining looked good, and suprisingly the right ovary was producing follices, on it's own!! Whohoo!! Now, I still need to do the injectables but they are lowering the dose to 75, rather than 150. After digging (literaly-ouch!) for my left ovary we saw that it was producing more follicles, just smaller ones. So, all in all, I had a little under 20 follies growing! I will do my first injection tonight and then come back on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday for more ultrasounds, monitoring and bloodwork. We are hoping to trigger Saturday or Monday, then IUI 36 hours after trigger. Prayers, prayers, prayers please!!!!!! On our way home from the appoint Jeff said, wouldn't that be awesome if we had a baby? Wow, yes hunny it would. I'm excited, nervous, and trying to learn patience! AH!!!!!!!!! Here we go!
After waiting in the waiting room forever, ok 25 minutes, my name was finaly called. I undressed and waited for nurse to come, dreading the 'vag cam' because I was still having heavy bleeding. I prepared Jeff for the grossness that was about to come! The uterine lining looked good, and suprisingly the right ovary was producing follices, on it's own!! Whohoo!! Now, I still need to do the injectables but they are lowering the dose to 75, rather than 150. After digging (literaly-ouch!) for my left ovary we saw that it was producing more follicles, just smaller ones. So, all in all, I had a little under 20 follies growing! I will do my first injection tonight and then come back on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday for more ultrasounds, monitoring and bloodwork. We are hoping to trigger Saturday or Monday, then IUI 36 hours after trigger. Prayers, prayers, prayers please!!!!!! On our way home from the appoint Jeff said, wouldn't that be awesome if we had a baby? Wow, yes hunny it would. I'm excited, nervous, and trying to learn patience! AH!!!!!!!!! Here we go!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Guess who arrived?
Yup, AF came today! Just a week or so late...but better late than never! I have my CD3 ultrasound on Saturday morning and I'm hoping they say all is clear so that we can start the injections Saturday night. Then, the everyother day ultrasounds start and the bills rack up, but hopefully it will all be worth it :-)
I'm very excited and nervous! What sucks is I'll be in San Diego cycle days 21-26 which means I won't know if I'm pregnant before we go. Not that it matters, but it would be fun to know :) Maybe while we're away I'll be able to forget about it all and my 2ww will go faster!! Prayers are always appreciated, we'd love our own little miracle :-) Have a fab weekend everyone, updates after the u/s!
I'm very excited and nervous! What sucks is I'll be in San Diego cycle days 21-26 which means I won't know if I'm pregnant before we go. Not that it matters, but it would be fun to know :) Maybe while we're away I'll be able to forget about it all and my 2ww will go faster!! Prayers are always appreciated, we'd love our own little miracle :-) Have a fab weekend everyone, updates after the u/s!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
IUI is still on!
I talked to Dr.C today and explained that I haven't had my period but don't want to take Estrogen supplements again because of how they made me feel. He said that was fine, come in Monday for an u/s to see if your ovaries are 'quiet' meaning no cysts and no follies. If all looks good we can go ahead with injections and IUI. I'm pretty excited but a little worried to...hopefully this is our month. PLEASE whatever you do, say a small prayer for us. I wanna be a mommy :-)
Duckies due date is Friday, I'm taking the day off to spend with hubby. I'm just not in the mood to be at work on that sad day. Where's missing you ducky, love you so much. Give Taz and Blue Blue cuddles from me. We'll meet you at the Gates some day, until then say a prayer for your sibling, will ya?
Duckies due date is Friday, I'm taking the day off to spend with hubby. I'm just not in the mood to be at work on that sad day. Where's missing you ducky, love you so much. Give Taz and Blue Blue cuddles from me. We'll meet you at the Gates some day, until then say a prayer for your sibling, will ya?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Gender Neutral Nursery-I need YOUR help!
Alright ladies, time to decorate the nursery! Yah!!! Below is what I think I want to do with the nursery, but I need your ideas! Please, please, please post your favorite gender neutral nursery and ideas! Once I've decided on my favorite I'm going to post a poll and you guys can vote on what we should do :-)
Here's my idea so far......
I love this nursery! It's calm, quiet and neutral. I would love to do blue stripes on the bottom. Should I rotate between dark and light blue or shiny and flat paint for the stripes? Top will be blue also. I'd love to do the white bedding, with maybe a little more brown tied in.
I love the pattern in this bedding. I'm hoping to make a quilt and some pillows for the nursery with fabric similiar to this.
I love these 'balls' above the crib instead of doing a mobile. I would probably do browns and ivories. Whatcha think?
Lastly, I want to do an Upper Case Living saying about the crib that says "Miracles come in all shapes and sizes". Our miracle may not be made in my belly but s/he will be loved with all our hearts! Any other cute sayings you love? What else should I put on the walls? Above the changing table, etc?!
Thank you for all you ideas and opinions! I can't wait to start!
IUI #1 is a Failure!
It looks like we won’t be doing an IUI after all. I’m ok with that actually, maybe even a little happy. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to work and now we don’t need to waste the money.
I started provera about 2 weeks ago to induce my period, well my period never came. I took a HPT and it was a BFN. In March this happened and my estrogen was extremely low. I had to take Estrodial for 30 days, then provera again. Doesn’t seem so bad but the estrogen supplements gave me the worst migraines all month! Ugh! I’m ok with this though. I think this is God saying that foster care and adoption is in our plans. I’m actually very excited for the journey we are about to embark on and Jeff is excited too. It’s fun to talk about everything and exciting for all the unknown. Knowing six months from now we could have a son, a daughter, 2 kids, or none. Crazy huh? One minute we’ll be husband and wife, and hours later we could become parents!! Ah! Exciting and nerve wracking but this has given me so much drive to get stuff done. I’ve been garage saling, saving money and reasearching a lot to prepare for all this. We’re finishing up lots of little projects to get ready for our home study! I can’t wait….the Lord has a greater plan for us and I’m excited for it!
I started provera about 2 weeks ago to induce my period, well my period never came. I took a HPT and it was a BFN. In March this happened and my estrogen was extremely low. I had to take Estrodial for 30 days, then provera again. Doesn’t seem so bad but the estrogen supplements gave me the worst migraines all month! Ugh! I’m ok with this though. I think this is God saying that foster care and adoption is in our plans. I’m actually very excited for the journey we are about to embark on and Jeff is excited too. It’s fun to talk about everything and exciting for all the unknown. Knowing six months from now we could have a son, a daughter, 2 kids, or none. Crazy huh? One minute we’ll be husband and wife, and hours later we could become parents!! Ah! Exciting and nerve wracking but this has given me so much drive to get stuff done. I’ve been garage saling, saving money and reasearching a lot to prepare for all this. We’re finishing up lots of little projects to get ready for our home study! I can’t wait….the Lord has a greater plan for us and I’m excited for it!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Watch out...this ones a long one!
Jeff and I have some, sort of, big news. No, unfortunately we’re not pregnant but we may become parents in the spring! As many of you can image, the fertility treatments are taking a toll on my life and heart. Every month with discouraging news really ways on you and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want to do this anymore. Yes, I would love to have a biological child, and just because it doesn’t happen now, doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future. So, what am I getting at? Jeff and I have decided to become foster/adoptive parents. We are going to attend orientation on August 31st and then decide for sure if this is the path we want to take. There are many reasons why we decided to do this. I always felt like I was put on earth to be a mom but also to care for children. If you know me personally, you know I love children with all my heart. I prayed a lot this summer about the path God wanted us to take and somehow, somewhere I stumbled upon foster care and adoptive parenting. (I’ll explain what this all means later). Jeff’s heart wasn’t in it at first and I think he still hasn’t completely fallen for the idea. We still plan on going through with the IUI in August, and if we get pregnant with that we’ll be super excited! But if not, we’ll continue with foster care. I looked into adoption but for many reasons my heart didn’t feel like that was right. The cost and wait is long, plus there are so many children here that need good, loving, stable homes. Everyday I do more research on this and find this is the path God wants us to take. Jeff’s heart has slowly been softened to this idea and he is open to taking this journey.
Now, what does foster/adoptive parenting mean? There are many ways to be foster parents but we have chosen a special route with the intention of adoption. We are going to orientation in August and should be starting our 10 weeks of PS-MAPP training in October. From what I’ve learned during the 10 weeks of training we’ll have 2-3 home studies, collect reference letters from family and friends, and learn about how to be a great foster parent as well as the type of kids that are brought into foster care. Jeff and I have decided to foster 0-3years of age children. I am going to stress the fact that we would like a newborn or baby because we want to adopt. We are also going to talk to our social worker and let her know we’d really like ‘low replacement’ children. This means that a child is taken out of their home and placed in foster care. During this time the parents rights can be terminated by court and they contact other families members to see if they would like to adopt the child. If the parental rights are terminated and family member don’t want to adopt the child we start the process of adoption. We have been ‘warned’ that we may be foster parents to a few children before we have the option to adopt but I think the most important part to remember in all this is that we are there for the child, to give them a loving, stable home during this hard time. I know this will be hard for us but I also know God wouldn’t have put this in our hearts if it wasn’t the right plan for us.
Now, I’m very excited and a little stressed. Our age range is pretty large which means I need to be prepared for a newborn AND toddler. (Oh, and did I mention we could get siblings to?!) We already have a nursery set up and will be making the guest bedroom more ‘kid friendly’ just in case. But how do I plan for all this? I need a toddler car seat and an infant car seat, do I get a single stroller or double or wait to see what happens? What if we foster one child then a few months later another one-so we have two? How do I decide on clothes? Get a few outfits in each age range? Ah!!! SO much to do. I may be getting ahead of myself as we still have an IUI to do and training to attend, but I’m trying to my hardest to prepare our home and us mentally.
I know many of you may be judging our decision, but please support us through our journey. It will be hard, it could be emotionally painful, but I think through the support of God and our family, we can do this. If this is how He wants our family to grow, this is how we will do it!
PS- I am making my blog private from now on. This isn't because I don't want you to read it (I hope you all still follow us!) but we need more privacy. Plus, with foster/adoptive care the childs privacy needs to be respected so we are making sure that I know (or kind of know) all of our followers!
Now, what does foster/adoptive parenting mean? There are many ways to be foster parents but we have chosen a special route with the intention of adoption. We are going to orientation in August and should be starting our 10 weeks of PS-MAPP training in October. From what I’ve learned during the 10 weeks of training we’ll have 2-3 home studies, collect reference letters from family and friends, and learn about how to be a great foster parent as well as the type of kids that are brought into foster care. Jeff and I have decided to foster 0-3years of age children. I am going to stress the fact that we would like a newborn or baby because we want to adopt. We are also going to talk to our social worker and let her know we’d really like ‘low replacement’ children. This means that a child is taken out of their home and placed in foster care. During this time the parents rights can be terminated by court and they contact other families members to see if they would like to adopt the child. If the parental rights are terminated and family member don’t want to adopt the child we start the process of adoption. We have been ‘warned’ that we may be foster parents to a few children before we have the option to adopt but I think the most important part to remember in all this is that we are there for the child, to give them a loving, stable home during this hard time. I know this will be hard for us but I also know God wouldn’t have put this in our hearts if it wasn’t the right plan for us.
Now, I’m very excited and a little stressed. Our age range is pretty large which means I need to be prepared for a newborn AND toddler. (Oh, and did I mention we could get siblings to?!) We already have a nursery set up and will be making the guest bedroom more ‘kid friendly’ just in case. But how do I plan for all this? I need a toddler car seat and an infant car seat, do I get a single stroller or double or wait to see what happens? What if we foster one child then a few months later another one-so we have two? How do I decide on clothes? Get a few outfits in each age range? Ah!!! SO much to do. I may be getting ahead of myself as we still have an IUI to do and training to attend, but I’m trying to my hardest to prepare our home and us mentally.
I know many of you may be judging our decision, but please support us through our journey. It will be hard, it could be emotionally painful, but I think through the support of God and our family, we can do this. If this is how He wants our family to grow, this is how we will do it!
PS- I am making my blog private from now on. This isn't because I don't want you to read it (I hope you all still follow us!) but we need more privacy. Plus, with foster/adoptive care the childs privacy needs to be respected so we are making sure that I know (or kind of know) all of our followers!
Going Private
We have decided to 'go private' with this blog for many reasons, main one will be 'announced' in a couple days! So if you want to continue to read this blog, which I hope everyone of you does, please email me your email address at jplotz22 at gmail dot com.
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