A little girl?

So the gender guesses begin... My mom guesses girl. Cindy, receptionist at work, calls the baby a 'her' all the time. A old friend from HS randomly e-mailed me to tell me she had a dream...we were pregnant with a girl! haha. She said she didn't think I was pregnant, but if I do get pregnant and it's a girl she's a phsycic! haha. Today I asked Jeff what he thought it was....I always say 'her' and he always says 'him'. Today he said, it's a girl. What?! So now he thinks it's a girl too...

I really have no idea. I always think girl, but I think that's because I dream of having a little girl to dress up. I guess we'll see around Christmas time!

6w5d

Today I'm 6w5d pregnant! We had our second ultrasound with Dr. C today and it was amazing. We saw our baby...measuring 6w4d and heard her amazing heartbeat...127bpm. It was the most amazing sound ever!! We're so excited and everything seems so much more 'real'. After our ultrasound we had to wait to talk to Dr.C for a minute. It took him awhile to get to us and Jeff was soo impatient! He was like a little kid, getting into everything. Playing with the stirups, the lights, the blood pressure cups, the pens...geez kid! Just sit down already! We have another ultrasound scheduled with Dr. C on the 8th...then I get released to my OB and have my first ultrasound with him on the 12th!! How fun!!

Here's a pic...

6w1d

Today I'm blogging for no reason...well, maybe because I'm bored. We went to my parents yesterday and Hannah, my 10 year old little sister decided to 'name' our baby...Rice Pumpkin. I really don't know where she came up with that name but I guess it works ;-) My mom was feeding grain to her horses and handed me alittle piece and said..."This is how big your baby is". haha...what a bunch of dorks. I'm still feeling pretty normal. I guess "rice pumpkin" doesn't like quesadilla's because we made them the other night which ended in Jeff rubbing my back while I threw up/dry heaved in the kitchen sink...yum yum! I also updated my 'profile' pic. It's not the best pic of us, especially because Jeff says he 'looks stoned' but atleast you can see my cute new haircut! I really love it and it's soo much easier to get ready in the morning!

Alright..I'm out of 'updates'. I keep forgetting to start taking my belly pics..maybe I'll get on that this weekend (not that there is anything to see anyway). We both can not wait for Monday when we get to see our baby again! I've been praying for a nice strong, readable heartbeat...like in the 140's. :-) I think it will feel a bit more real than. Then our next appointment/ultrasound will be with my OB, Dr.M on the 12th. After 3 good ultrasounds I think we'll start to calm down a bit and realize we're going to be parents! Until then we just pray the God and Ducky watch over little..."rice pumpkin". haha

We have a bun!!!!!!!!!!!! Yup, just one!!!!!!

Wow...what a crazy couple of days! Sunday I was having some tight pains in my ovaries, it only lasted a few seconds but kind of worried me. I hardly have any pregnancy symptoms so that worried me also. Monday morning brought on a terrible migraine which was not fun. I finally gave in and called Dr. Mintzer's office, well there wasn't much they could do for me. Dr. M wants me to see a neurologist to pin point why I'm having the migraines and he prescribed Vicodin. Jeff went to pick it up and the pharmacist told him that I shouldn't take it that early in pregnancy. So, I suffered through the day. Today I was feeling better and Jeff had done tons of research on prengnacy, cramps, migraines, etc. all was looking good but we were still worried something was wrong. I ended up calling Dr.M's office again to see if I could get in for an early ultrasound. I won't even begin to explain the b*tchy lady, Bonnie, who attempted to help me. She was EVIL! But I finally got an appointment scheduled for 1:30 on Wednesday, but she kept telling me to call Dr. Cooper (RE). Well, after talking to Jeff I called Dr. C's office and low and behold they said I could come right in! They are the BEST people in the world. I had an ultrasound at 1:30 today and got to see my beautiful baby!! Yes, just one! That's ok though...I was kind of afraid of twins and getting huge :-) hehe. The baby measured about 6w2d, where I should be 5w6d so that's good. There was a tiny flickering heartbeat but the u/s wand was too big to pick up the exact bpm. Next Monday I have another ultrasound and we should be able to see/hear the hb and measure the bpm. It was awesome. Jeff is so relieved and Dr.C was soo super nice. He said the Vicodin was ok to take sparingly. So..all is well. I can't wait for Monday just to see him/her again and know everythings ok. THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh..and you guys can start guessing on a boy or girl. Mom says girl, with lots of hair, looks like me, and is a 'bigger' baby. HAHA!! Feel free to leave your guesses ;-)

YAH TO BEAUTIFUL BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the pics..you can't see much. The bubble inside the gestational sac (large black dot) is the yolk sac, then you can see the little grain of rice beneath the yolk sac. Oh..and what's the huge black hole? Yeah..I have 2 huge cysts on my left ovary which has been causing me some pain but they shouldn't be a problem and should go away on their own :-)

Going to the neurologist

I don't really know why and what they will do but Dr. M wants me to get in with a neurologist. I've had a mild headache all last week which finally developed into a terrible migraine today. He called me in vicodin with tylenol which hopefully will help. I'm a little scared and afraid for my babies. I just don't feel pregnant...so how can I be?! Ugh. I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings when I schedule my appointment.

Longest week ever...

Next Monday is our first ultrasound and I literally can not wait until the 28th. I feel like this week will be the longest week of my life. I just want to know how things are going...good or bad. I don't know how I will make it all the way to May to see my precious little IVF miracle. I want to go home and sleep but hardly have any vacation left because of all my RE appointments. I need you guys to pray that this week flys by and that I stop stressing! I analyze every twinge, every non symptom, everything. I just want to feel pregnant, I want to be home because the days fly by at home. I want to be holding my healthy, strong, newborn baby. I want it to be May...or atleast November when I'm in the 'safe' zone and I don't have to stress so much.

I have a BAD case of the Mondays....

I got in!

I had called to schedule an OB appointment with Dr. M. I had only met with him one time, but he was an awesome OB. Plus, my whole family goes to him. He recently moved to a new practice and they were telling me I might not be able to see him. Well, the nurse called today and I got in! October 12th at 9:30 I have my first OB appointment, at 9 weeks. I get an ultrasound and office visit. I'm so excited!

I also talked to the nurse, Cheryl, at MIF today because I've had some major headaches. Of course, I can only take Tylenol which doesn't help...at all! But she told me she thinks Monday I'll be 6 weeks instead of Wednesday, which makes my due day May 17th. Call me crazy but I've always thought I'd have a baby on May 17th. I don't know why the day has been in my mind forever, but it has. Just like 300 was what I wanted for my first beta (it was actually 301) and that I dreamt that I would have my second beta at 759 (it was at 754). Hm....maybe God is answering our prayers or I have ESP :-)

Either way I can't complain! I'm excited and so is Jeff, but we are really ready for November to be hear when we're past 12 weeks. Actually, I think once we're past Oct. 12th I'll feel alot better because that means we've seen the heartbeat twice..but November is even better.

Jeff is already rubby my belly (fat) and talking to the babies. He also told me his friend, who's wife is due any day now, is giving him some daddy books to read! How stinkin cute huh? He's such an amazing man and is so 'in' on everything to do with baby, twins, and infertility.

I still feel pretty normal. Just sore boobs and tired, oh and headaches. I try not to analyze everything-it's in God's hands right now, not ours. Plus, Jeff and I talked today that IF something did happen we'll know there is a reason. There must be a baby out there needing us and we'll adopt. But...no more negative nancy like Jeff calls me :-)

We're off to watch a movie! Hopefully this weekend I'll have time to update my blog with pics of my new hair do :-)

4 weeks 4 days

I just got the call for my second beta, at 13dp4dt it's 754!! Whoohoo!! I had a dream last night that it was 759 and I've been praying for a 700+ beta :-) It only needed to increase by 60% to confirm a viable pregnancy and mine increased by 159% :-) Yah!! Tomorrow I schedule my ultrasound (it will probably be around Sept. 28th), we will be able to tell if we have a singleton or twins. We'll also, hopefully, be able to see the heartbeat(s)!! I can't wait. What an awesome day, God is Great!!!!!!!!

Today I'm 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

So I'm going to do some updating weekly on how we're all doing. For you, and so I can look back and remember each week!

How am I feeling? Great! I get kind of worn out easily but nothing too big. My boobs are sore, but only when I push on them ;-) I still have cramping and some weird pulling. For example, last night I moved onto my side and fell like my insides were being pulled the wrong way. After I moved a little bit I was fine. I've never had that before, so it's been a little weird. It may be from my uterus still healing, I don't really know. I sorta wish I had some symptoms so that I could actually feel pregnant, but I'm sure they will come soon enough!

What meds am I taking? Oh..where do I start? I have a Vivelle patch that I change every three days, it's an estrogen supplement. I'm still doing progesterone injections in my butt-which leaves my butt black and blue. Also, I'm having an allergic reaction to the shots which means big, itchy, red, bumpy blotches on my butt. Gross! I also take Metformin for the PCOS/Insulin, Fulbee which is a high dose of vitamin B, baby aspirin which helps with blood flow to the uterus, prenatal vitamin and Expectra which is a DHA supplement. Wow! What a list!

Basically, I feel about the same. Just some cramping! I also started drinking V8 Splash to get my daily dose of fruits and veggies. It's actually pretty good :-) That's about it. I'll update after my beta on Sunday morning. Prayers for high, doubling numbers!

Beta is in...

and it's 301, 11 days post trasnfer!!! Yah!!!!!! According to the betabase.info we have a good chance of having twins!! EAK! Most singletons pregnancies have a hcg, at the highest, of 194 at 11dp. So being at 301 means maybe we have two!! So happy and excited. THANK YOU LORD!!

I have another blood draw on Sunday at 9:50 to make sure that my levels are doubling nicely, than an ultrasound around the 30th of September :-) Prayers for sticky babies!!

Oh..what a day. We got home from San Diego and I decided to take the last digital (First Response Gold) pregnancy test. Stupid me...took it and it said "no". As in, no your not pregnant. I bawled, of course. Jeff was super upset to and went through every possible explanation. So I took a dollar store one and got a positive. Went to the store and bought a clear blue easy digital test and got another positive. I hate this!! I think my urine wasn't concentrated enough or maybe the temp change from our flight messed it up. All we can do is pray our bab(ies) are ok.

Yes..I know I need to PUT DOWN THE TEST. But, I can't. We bought a 5 pack test which means I will use all of them this week until my blood test at MIF on Friday at 9:30am. Hopeing for a high beta!! (I want 300, but will be happy with 100...haha!)

We're.......PREGANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AH!!! I'm still in San Diego so I'm going to update as fast as I can so I can get back to the fam...

This morning I took a $tree pregnancy test and it was negative. I watched it for about 10 minutes, then threw it in my purse and went to get ready for a day of retail therapy. About an hour later I came back and peaked at it..there were two lines! I didn't really know if that was accurate or not but I showed Jeff. We didn't think anything of it and were off to the mall. All day I couldn't buy anything..I kept thinking about how nothing I bought was going to fit me in 3 to 4 months and I felt like I was wasting money. I was exhausted, crabby and tired. Finally we just decided to go home but Jeff convinced me to stop at the grocery store and pick up a digital. $17.99 later we were off to Tyler's and I planned on testing today and tomorrow. I peed on the stick and Jeff and I sat watching it....Then, Jeff said. Well, look at that. Oh...not pregnant huh? No...it said YES!!!!!!!!!!!! We were so excited, we screamed and hugged and were all giddy. I ran to show my sister in law, Court and then called my mom and texted a few friends. I've had alot of tightness in my uterus and pains on both sides so I figured something was going on in there! I'm so excited, but also a little nervous. Nervous that it will turn out to be a chemical pregnancy or we'll miscarry, but again I need to remind myself that our life isn't in our hands..its in Gods!

Now-If you know us in real life DON'T tell anyone. We aren't going to tell others until we reach 12 weeks..just good friends and family. Last time family ended up telling others and so forth...I would run into someone at the grocery store who thought I was pregnant after I miscarried and had to explain everything. I don't want to do that again so please keep your lips sealed!

I'll update later when I know more. I have my beta (blood test) on Saturday...needs to be atleast above 100 and then double every 48 hours. We'll have an ultrasound in about 2-3 weeks.

YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're having a baby...or two....in May!!

Minor Freak Out...

Well today has been quite the day, going to up date as fast as I can. We're OOT with family and I needa go to bed (got a big day of retail therapy tomorrow!).

Jeff woke me up at 5:30 to take a pregnancy test (yes, only 6dp5dt-but I've heard of BFP this early!). Well, of course it was negative and then I wiped...blood. Bright, red, blood. Immediatly I thought the worst and new I had started my period. I started crying, Jeff held me in the bathroom. We were both heartbroken. Oh, and of course I had no tampons or anything so we had to go get his brother to get me some...nice. He had a tee time at 6:40 so he had to leave. I laid in bed bawling, texting a few friends that I knew would be there for me. I awoke again around 8, feeling better, but still discouraged. I went to take a shower around 9 and had brown, gross spotting now so I called the on-call nurse at Dr.C's office. Jolie told me it was normal sometimes and to wear a panty liner. If I leaked through the painty liner I needed to call back. Well, image that. Haven't had one spot since. Lots of cramps and tightness in my uterus, but nothing. We're still holding out hope and praying this still works, but Jeff and also talked about if it didn't. Jeff's heart was so broken when he heard I was bleeding and he said he couldn't do this again. If IVF #1 doesn't work, we will be adopting. I leave our life and plans in His hands and we'll see where he takes us.

I'll update when we get back home...until then we pray that He will guide us and comfort us during this time. That we will trust His plan, no matter what that may be.

Embryo Transfer

Sorry I haven't gotten around to posting about the embryo transfer yesterday! Not to say I haven't had the time, bed rest really sucks. But the nurse gave me strict orders to lay flat, with one pillow, at all times unless I need to sit up to eat or got potty. UGH....I don't like this. But it's for the babes...right?

So, right now I'm laying flat with my head propped up with two (Gasp!) pillows so I can type away. The embryo transfer went well and was pretty easy. In the morning I got up and inserted my Prometrium and took a Valium. Jeff came home to pick me up and we were off. We had to wait forever but finally got called back where we changed into our scrubs/hospital gown.

We were then lead into the transfer room where Dr. Cooper, a student doing her rounds, and Tiffany the nurse were there. Dr. Cooper said, "Are you ready for twins?" Haha-YES! My bladder was so full so I was trying very hard not to pee on Dr. C. (lol, ok not really-but I felt like I could!) Basically Dr.C just inserted a speculum (which hurt soooo bad!) and then inserted a catheter into my uterus. Holley, the egg donor nurse, gave Dr.C the little pink container holding our babies. (Oh-only 2 made it through the whole entire procedure, so we transfered those two) Then Tiffany did an ultrasound on my uterus and found the little white area where the embryos needed to be 'dropped off'. Dr.C inserted them into the uterus. I then had to lay on the bed for 30 minutes with my leg/butt tilted upwards. We got a picture of our beautiful babies. After all our research Jeff and I could tell right away they were pretty fragmented (which means they aren't a very good quality) but Dr.Cooper was optomistic and said they looked great. We are just trying to keep our heads up and know we aren't the experts so we won't look into the fragmentation too much. Just pray we are blessed with two beautiful babies.

Bed rest hasn't been fun, to say the least. I try so hard not to stress and relax, which stresses me out more. I just feel like if I move the wrong way, get up too many times to pee, cry too much, stress to much, not talk to them enough they won't implant and I'll feel terrible. I don't want to fail Jeff, he deserves to be a daddy! I'm trying to keep my hopes up though and praying alot. God can work miracles, let's pray our little test tube babies are one of those miracles.

Here's Krue Jackson and Giana Rose.

To say the least I've been a basket case, crying/bawling one minute and fine the next. It's the stupid hormones.

Alot of people ask what we'll do if this doesn't work, to be honest, I don't know. Physically I could do it again. The pain wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Emotionally, it's been so hard. I have a huge weight on my shoulders. IF we aren't pregnant this cycle we will meet with Dr.Cooper and see what he thinks. Why didn't our eggs make it, why are they all fragmented, what's the chance of next cycle getting healthier eggs? Then we'll discuss cost. Another cycle will cost us about 8k while adoption (after the tax credit) will be about the same cost and we will actually become parents from that...no wondering if the cycle will work, etc. Jeff wants to try again but we'll see. We won't make any decisions until January...until then we'll relax and recoop.

But enough negativity!! Gotta go watch some tv and keep my embies warm. Hm...I love the feeling of having two beautiful, healthy babies in me. Now, I just pray they love it so much in there they stay!