This week hasn't been easy. Nothing in particular, I'm just struggling with so many decisions. Plus, one minute I'm fine, then next I'm crying or upset over something soo tiny. It's just frusterating. I can't concentrate at work and I have no desire to do anything, I hate feeling like this. I've decided to call Dr.C and ask to talk to him about a very low dose of a depression/anxiety medicine. I really thought I could do this all on my own, but I'm slowly figuring out that it's better not to even try. I'm having a hard time living in the moment. Every thought is always towards the future-when the baby comes. We're paying off my car so things will be easier when the babies arrives, but part of me thinks we should stop throwing so much money onto that car payment so we enjoy life now. I need a 'pick me up' every once in awhile, like shopping, going out with my hubby, etc. I also am having a hard time making myself a better person, which is something I've been trying to work on. I want and need to start working out, but each time I just think that all the hard work will be ruined when I get pregnant. I should be thinking-the healthier I am when I get pregnant, the better. It's so hard not to have a one track mine. I need to find a happy medium-where we are preparing for children but also enjoying this time we have.It's so hard and I really look forward to talking to Dr.C about something to help me. I've gotten to the point where I don't even know what to pray anymore and I feel so down. I hate that-I'm usually a super happy, go lucky person and have no problems leaving everything in God's hands. I don't know if its the new injection or what, but this has been a really hard week.I promise my posts are going to be less depressing soon too....
However-on a happy note Jeff suggested we get tatoos of ducky! I'm getting a white one of a little ducking (haven't decided where) just so I can remember him forever. Jeff is going to get his done in black, I think the words "Ducky" somewhere small on his bod. Ill update with pics when we get around to that!
Hello Jess,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so depressed and down. I know you're going through a really difficult time right now and you're in my prayers.